Cruel Intoxication (Underground Kings 4)

But what?

Wanting her isn’t allowed. She has too much healing to do, but maybe we can go out on a date or something.

Ugh, dating. I hate the thought of dating. Dating sucks.

She mumbles again, and her brows dip together, causing a cute crease in her forehead.

Great, now I think she’s cute.

No, you think she’s beautiful.

“Not good.” I rub my hand over my head, hating my damn thought process.

“No,” Jolie whimpers, and it has my head jerking up. Her short hair tumbles down her shoulders, and the comforter drops to her chest. She flops to her back from her side, and her legs raise, tenting the blanket. “No,” she says again. “No! Get off me. Get off!” She starts to thrash, and her arms are pinned next to her head as if there’s some invisible force holding her down. There isn’t physically, but there is in her mind.

He’s holding her down in her dreams.

“Please!” She cries and her legs kick to protect herself, but then they flatten.

I stand in a hurry and rush to her side. “Jolie, wake up! You’re safe. Jolie,” I say a bit louder as tears run down her cheeks. I don’t want to touch her just in case it makes things worse. It’s the last thing I want. “Jolie, come on. You’re safe. You’re here with Owen, remember? You remember me. Wake up.”

But no matter how softly I say it, she doesn’t wake up.

I grab the sides of her wet cheeks and hold her still. “Jolie!” I yell at her, slightly shaking her awake, and her big green eyes pop open. She stares at me like she doesn’t know me, like I’m the worst thing she’s ever seen.

She’s seeing him.

“It’s Owen, Jolie. It’s Owen. Remember me?” A warm wet droplet hits my thumb as she looks at me like a stranger.

Fuck, that hurts.

“It’s me,” I whisper softly. “You’re safe. No one can hurt you here. I’d never allow that.”

“Owen?” my name is broken as she speaks through her fear and reality smashing together. “Owen!” She realizes it’s me, and immediately she sobs. She covers her hands with her face to hide herself.

I wrap my arms around her and bring her to my chest, holding her, showing her comfort. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here. I got you.” I cup the back of her head, and she buries her face in the side of my neck. Her wet lashes tickle my skin, and her hot puffs of air has condensation building up like beads of sweat. “You’re okay.” I run my fingers through her dark brown hair, and I shut my eyes as her loud sobs become heart-wrenching wails.

I can’t do anything to help her through this process except hold her. I can be here, but I don’t feel like that’s enough.

Her fingers clutch onto my shoulders so tight, she pinches the skin. I don’t care. I just want her to be okay.

I can be here for her through this. I’m not away. I’m not at work. As long as I’m here, she’ll be fine.

“I’m sorry,” she says into my ear.

“Don’t ever apologize. I’m glad I came in to check on you when I did,” I admit, kissing her forehead.

She sags against me, tired and probably wanting to go back to sleep after an exhausting cry. “Did everyone hear?”

“No, just me. They told me to let you sleep, but I was worried since it’s noon—”

“It’s noon?” She leans away, staring at me open mouthed.

“Yes, why?”

“I haven’t slept till noon in… I can’t remember when. I need to get up.” She wipes her cheeks on my shirt and blushes when she realizes what she’s done. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I chuckle, wishing we were different people so I could lean in and kiss her.