Cruel Intoxication (Underground Kings 4)

I need to go on a date.

That’s what I need to do.

I need to take a woman out who won’t be ready for a relationship for a very long time, and I don’t want to pressure Jolie into thinking she has to give me a chance. She has a long road ahead. It’s fine.

We’ll be fine.

I download a dating app on my phone while we wait and create a log in. It isn’t long before a few local women come up, but none of them hold my interest like Jolie.

“Dude,” Heaven slaps my arm, and I glance up from my phone.

Jolie is standing there in the white dress that reminds me of a wedding dress. The sheer white slip that I thought was a nightgown, she’s wearing underneath, creating a beautiful frame around the hems. Her skin, while there are a few bruises, is beautiful. She’s pale, probably not from seeing the sun for so long. Her flesh reminds me of freshly fallen snow after a blizzard, untouched. It looks so smooth, so innocent, so flawless, that the thought of touching something so perfect has you second guessing if you really want to walk through the snow.

Who am I kidding?

I’m not going to be fine.

Thirteen

Jolie

Owen hasn’t talked to me much in the last few days.

Granted, I’ve stayed in my room the majority of the time sleeping. Not because I’m mad at anyone, but I’ve been so tired. All I do is eat and sleep, but still I can’t help but wonder if he’s mad at me. Did I do something?

I slip on my new yoga pants and t-shirt, then walk out of my bedroom to see what he’s up to. It’s been easier to acclimate in the house with the same people. Everyday I’m gaining confidence and weight. I’m not as afraid as I used to be, but I still have nightmares.

When I do, I hear a voice in my mind saying I’m okay, and it sounds alike Owen. Why would he be with me at night if he ignores me during the day?

Taking a right, I head toward the kitchen and living room to see who I can find. My heart is jumping, and my nerves are getting the best of me. Owen makes my palms sweat. That’s never happened to me before.

The first day being away from him, I panicked. I cried myself to sleep because he was the only person I trust. I latched onto him. The next day, I was sad, I missed him, but he wasn’t here. Jaxon said he had to go out for something, but that’s it. He didn’t specify.

But now he’s back, according to Quinn, and I want to know why he’s avoiding me. I’ve learned that while yes, I’m attached to Owen, it’s more than being rescued by him, like I initially thought.

It’s more.

Since he hasn’t been here, I’ve felt so sick, so unsafe, so confused, and I’ve missed him. I don’t think he has missed me at all. Maybe there was a part of me that thought he was interested because foolishly I took his kindness for something more than what it was.

The kitchen is empty. There’s a plate full of muffins in the middle of the counter that Julia made. Heaven is asleep in the living room, TV on, but his head tilted back, snoring.

I don’t know where to go when I randomly look out the sliding glass windows and see Owen sitting on the patio couch, staring off in the distance. I quicken my steps, then slow when I realize what I’m doing. I do my best not to look like a complete idiot.

Or desperate.

I bet that’s why he hasn’t wanted anything to do with me and he disappeared. I was pathetic, and who wants to be around someone like that? My hands grip the handle as I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the inevitable. I’m not sure how to handle rejection.

The last year and half, while brutal, horrible, and a time I never want to relive, I wasn’t rejected. How could I feel rejected when I never wanted the guy but he wanted me? This is all new to me. I almost feel conditioned to not want Owen, but for him to want me.

But that isn’t the case. I do want him, and him being gone over the last few days made me realize that.

Opening the door, the cool air bursts across my face and the rippling of the water in the pool has the sun reflecting off the clear surface. The sky is still bright, the sun is high, the clouds are fluffy, and Owen is sitting in the shade with a vacant look on his face.

“Hi,” I greet him as I close the door, giving us the privacy we need from Heaven’s nosey ears. He might be asleep, but once he hears us talk, he will wake up and pretend to be sleeping.

Owen looks my way and stands, slamming his knee against the table. He groans, falling back and plopping on the couch again. “Hi,” he says while holding his breath and wrapping his hands around his knees.

“Are you okay?”