Balance (Off Balance 1)

“I know, but just stay for a little longer, please.” I wasn’t ready for him to leave just yet after what we shared.

Kova nodded, and we climbed off my bed and walked into the bathroom. I grabbed two wash cloths, wet them, and handed one to him. As I went to clean myself off, he pushed my hand away and cleaned me himself. For whatever reason, my heart melted as I let him do it. He was gentle and sweet, and the caring look in his eyes tightened something in my stomach. He pressed a kiss to my shoulder and used the same rag to quickly and efficiently clean himself, his eyes never leaving mine. We stood in silence and got dressed. This time I only wore boy short panties and a loose shirt. I pulled my hair into a ponytail when I was done.

Instead of sitting on my bed, Kova made his way to my living room and sat on my couch. I went to sit next to him, but he grabbed my hand and guided me to his front. I climbed up, straddling his thighs and lowered myself onto his lap. Placing my hands flat on his chest, he wrapped his arms around my back and snuggled me to him. Not once had Kova ever held me like this, so relaxed and so very intimate, but without any sexual motive. Almost like a lover’s hold.

A few moments of silence passed when Kova spoke up. “Adrianna, I need to ask you something,” he said against me ear. “Are you on birth control?”

My heart stopped. “No.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, but I’d heard the disappointment in his tone. His body coiled beneath mine and I felt bad I hadn’t even considered it at the time. “I cannot believe how stupid I was.”

Pulling back, I looked into his solemn eyes. His hands dropped to my hips. “It’s not your fault, Kova. I should’ve been more responsible, too. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

I looked down at his shoulder, lost in thought over the ramifications of our actions. I was smarter than that and yet I made a grave judgment call. It was beyond ignorant of me.

“Well, on the plus side, you didn’t finish inside of me.”

Kova gave me a sympathetic look, his hands slid to my hips. “I do not have to come inside of you for you to get pregnant, Adrianna. It is called pre-come.”

I knew what it was called, I was just trying to give him some hope. “I know, but the possibility is really slim.” That, I knew.

I bit my lip. Come inside you…My cheeks flushed at his sexy, baritone voice. My hips purposely snuggled into his lap, feeling his length under me. He was warm and comforting, and something about being in his arms was peaceful.

“And yes, I did. The first night we had sex, I came inside of you.”

Shit. The blood drained from my face. I’d completely forgotten, yet the thought of him coming in me sent a flush of heat down my spine. I’d never been overly interested in sex, but Kova was bringing out the inquisitive side in me, making me want to explor

e more.

“Anything is a possibility, Ria,” he said softly. My fingers traced over his muscular shoulder as I thought about what I could do to lessen my chances of being pregnant. A thought popped in my head.

“What about the morning after pill?” I suggested, brightly. I didn’t want to take something such as a morning after pill, who knew what the hell it was made of, but I also wasn’t ready to raise a baby, either. I had goals, dreams, and aspirations.

Kova shifted uncomfortably under me and dragged a hand over his mouth. When he stayed silent, I said, “It prevents pregnancy when there is no protection used during sex.”

He rolled his eyes back to mine. “I know what it does.”

“Oh, well, you didn’t say anything.”

“I was just thinking about the idea is all.” His distant eyes were staring at something behind me before they swung back to mine. “I cannot force you to take anything, Adrianna. It is your choice and your decision, but I think this would be the best thing for you to do. For us.”

I nodded. “I think so—”

He cut me off. “I will tell you right now that if you get pregnant and it somehow comes back to me, I will deny it until the day I die,” he said, brushing a fallen lock of hair from my face.

My stomach recoiled at his gentle tone but inconsiderate words. I was just as much at fault as he was, and that was the last thing I wanted. “I don’t feel comfortable buying it though…Do you think you could get it for me?”

Kova didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“But what if someone sees you buying it?”

His brows bunched together and then eased apart. “I will go to a pharmacy in the next town over. Problem solved.”

We both heaved a heavy sigh at the same time. A relieved look passed over both our faces. The last thing I wanted was to get caught, let alone have a damn baby. And I could guarantee Kova felt the same way.

“When will you go? I think there’s an expiration date on how long you have before it’s not effective.”

He nodded. “I think it is a week or something…Katja—” He stopped, remorse plaguing his face heavily and it bothered me. When he regained himself, he quietly said, “Katja has taken it before. I will go when I leave here and get it. It will be in your locker tomorrow morning, so get to the gym early and take it. I will take it out of the package so no one sees it.”