Balance (Off Balance 1)

“What?” I ask and his silence scares me. “Xander?” I prompt.

“This one’s broken,” he mumbles, nodding at the condom he holds.

“What?” I say again. “No.”

“Thea—”

“I’m going to be sick,” I cry, and run for the toilet. I collapse in front of it and heave up everything in my stomach—which isn’t much.

Xander’s hand touches my back and I flinch. His hand falls away and I can hear him running water in the sink.

I can barely handle the thought of us being married, but if I’m pregnant too? There’s no hiding a baby.

I sit on the cold tile floor and lean my back against the wall. Xander kneels in front of me and wipes my mouth with a washcloth. His dark eyes are full of worry but he doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing he can say.

He helps me up and I brush my teeth, thankful I hadn’t packed my bathroom stuff yet. He disappears into the bedroom and when I emerge from the bathroom I see that he’s finished packing my bag for me and waits by the door.

We’re both silent as we head next door to his room so he can grab his suitcase. I wait in the hall, fighting tears.

When he comes back into the hall, wheeling his black suitcase behind him, my chin wobbles.

“Thea,” he says my name softly, almost pained sounding. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m scared,” I confess, my voice barely a whisper.

He lets go of his suitcase and pulls me into his arms.

His arms.

My safe place.

I only let myself linger in his arms for a few seconds before I force myself away and wipe the tear from my cheek. I won’t let this get to me.

“When we go to leave, follow my lead,” he tells me. “Okay?”

I nod.

Xander will take care of this. He’ll fix it. That’s what he’s good at.

The walk down the hall to the elevator seems endless. He reaches out to push the button to call it to our floor and my hand flies out, grabbing his wrist. “The rings,” I hiss. I completely forgot about them. I hastily rip off mine and go to stuff it in my bag but Xander swipes it from my hand. “Hey,” I protest.

“I can’t trust you with this,” he whispers gruffly. “You might throw it away.”

“I wouldn’t—”

“I’ll hold onto it, for now.” He takes his off and shoves both deep into his pocket. I should be relieved to be rid of the ring, to not even have it in my possession, but I feel slightly empty inside.

The shiny elevator doors slide open and we step inside. My heart is beating so loud in my ears that I can pick out each individual beat. I look to Xander and I can’t read his emotions. His face is a mask of steely calm, like he can take on the world and not bat an eye. It’s what makes him such a good football player. The other team never knows what he’s thinking.

The doors open to the lobby and we wheel our bags out.

I’m glad to be going home. The past week—last night especially—has worn me out. I never imagined when the three of us joined Xander’s dad for a business trip—to learn more about the architecture business—that it would lead to this. I guess that’s what we get for extending our trip into the weekend so we could have a break.

And somehow, in all the chaos of this morning, I’ve forgotten the fact that once I get home there will be no avoiding Xander. We live in the same house, our rooms side by side, and I’m his assistant at his dad’s firm for the summer. My eyes dart to his profile—the elegant slope of his nose, and slight pout of his lips—and swallow thickly. Even if we get this taken care of today, I’m going to have to endure his presence every second of every day. It’s already been a struggle, fighting my feelings, and after this? I don’t know if I can do it.

Xander and I meet Cade in the dining area and leave our bags at the table he secured before going over to grab our food. Xander piles a stack of steaming pancakes on his plate and my stomach rolls. I don’t think I can eat. I grab an orange juice and a straw and start back to the table.

“You need to eat, Thea,” Xander calls after me.