I burst out laughing, not expecting that. "Did you just say boner? Who says that anymore?"
Hayden shrugged. "Woody. Hard-on. Erection. A stiffy. Full salute. Morning glory. Pitch a tent. Throbbing member. Which would you prefer?"
My eyes widened and I laughed harder as he rattled off more nicknames. "I guess if I had to pick, boner would be the best choice. Do people really say morning glory?"
"I don't know, Aid. I don't talk about boner names with my friends," he said, flashing me a wry smile.
"Yeah, I guess that would be weird."
Stepping outside, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, considering it poured yesterday. For a December morning in Florida, it was breezy with a slight bite in the air. Goose bumps broke out over my skin as we made our way to my truck.
I opened my door and Hayden dropped my luggage into the back seat. He turned toward me and pulled me into a bear hug. His head dropped to the curve of my neck and I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him. He lifted me up and hugged me tightly, and without thinking, I wound my legs around his waist and locked my ankles together.
"You're so light," he mumbled against my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut at the familiarity of those words. Kova had once said that when he held me.
Lowering me to the ground, Hayden kept me close as he looked down at me. His eyes crinkled around the corners and the intensity of his troubled gaze locked on to mine. He was worried.
"Are you okay?" I asked. "I did dump a pile of shit onto your lap last night that would take years of psychotherapy to sort and process." Even then, I wasn't sure if he'd ever see it through my eyes.
Hayden pressed his lips together and stared at me. He took hold of my side ponytail and curled it gently around his knuckles before letting it fall to my chest.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"
"I think you've asked me enough."
I repeated my question. He sighed and looked above my head.
"Not really."
My heart dropped. I had a gut feeling it was too much to take in. No human with morals and dignity would be able to swallow something the size of a horse pill and act like it was nothing. Not even the vodka had helped.
The guilt began to eat at me. I knew I shouldn't have told him everything. He wasn't Avery.
"I'm so sorry you're involved in this mess."
"It’s done. I'll learn to deal with it, even though I don't like it, so long as you promise me not to sleep with him again."
"I'm fairly certain that won’t ever happen."
He looked down and his eyes narrowed. "Not fairly certain, Aid. I need you to be one hundred and fifty percent certain."
I gulped down the lump in my throat. "I'll be okay." It was all I could muster. I couldn’t promise anything. The side of his mouth tugged up and he glanced away.
"Be careful. Text me when you get home?"
I nodded. Hayden gave me one more bear hug, then pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek before he released me.
"Thanks for everything. I'm not sure how I would've made it this far without you."
"I'll always be here for you." I smiled in appreciation. "See ya later. Drive safe."
My stomach twisted into a giant slipknot as I watched him walk away. I didn't need to ask the question I was about to because I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but I still did to be sure. It was a girl thing.
"Hayden?" I chewed my lip. He stopped walking and glanced over his shoulder.
I'd shed a layer of skin when I came clean last night. I had divulged my deepest, darkest secrets to him in a risky move. I’d kept nothing from Hayden, I had told him everything. No one knew exactly what I'd been through since moving to Cape Coral, and I planned to keep it that way. While I trusted Hayden, I had to be sure.
"Don't worry," he said, easing my fear. He'd read the look on my face. "Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell a soul. I promise."