"You know you probably shouldn't be here, right?"
Kova shrugged carelessly. "I am not concerned. No one will question me."
I raised a brow in skepticism. "That kind of arrogance will backfire on you one day."
"Ria, pozhaluysta," he said suggestively under his breath. "When will you learn that I make the rules?"
I feigned a groan and smiled. "What's so important that couldn't wait until Monday?"
Kova chuckled and I felt it deep in my belly. "I want to know what you thought about today," he said in a low tone. "If you learned anything new."
"Of course I did."
"Like?" He motioned his hand for me to elaborate. He was too comfortable in that chair and it made my heart hammer.
"Like I need to tighten and clean my routines." I leaned forward. "Get any noise out that will distract the judges. I need to be innately mindful of everything I do. If I can feel it, they can see it. The girls made simple, careless mistakes. The kind I'm sure I make too." I looked him directly in the eye. "I need to break down my routines and perfect each skill, nail each one to sheer precision, even if it takes all day to break down a thirty-second bar routine. I have to have a firm understanding of the sport and what I’m doing. Focus and listen to my coaches, really pay attention, visualize it; and do it all with my mouth shut."
I leaned back and expelled a breath. I stared hard at Kova, like I was mad, but I wasn't. I felt every word and I couldn't wait to show him I meant it. To prove it, like he's always saying.
He slowly bobbed his head, and his sharp jaw held my focus. The man could cut steel with it.
He tapped his finger on the table. "You are eager to get back in the gym," Kova stated more than asked.
I nodded and a stupid grin pulled at my lips. It's what gymnastics did to me. "You can't even imagine."
Kova cracked a smile. "Believe me, I know the feeling very well. I can hear it in your voice. You want it bad."
I didn’t want it, I ached for it. I burned with longing to do what I loved for both me and him. I felt everything. The clawing need in my stomach to get back into the gym. The desire to prove I had what it took.
"I like where your head is at. It is where you need to be—focused on not just shit inside the circle, but outside of it too. Become a coach. Be a judge. What would you critique about yourself? You must be aware of your surroundings, what you are up against. The more you work, the more strength you have, the stronger you become. Not just in your bones and muscles, but up here too." Kova tapped the side of his head. "Bloom under pressure and show them what you are made of. I want you to shine out there. I know you can do it. Find your weakness and improve it. Everyone has a weakness somewhere, Adrianna, you just have to be the bigger person to recognize it."
"What's your weakness?"
"You," he said without hesitation.
"Me?" I pulled back.
Kova nodded and repeated himself. "You. Now tell me, what is your strength? What keeps you going besides your love for the sport?"
You, I wanted to say. It was my first instinct.
Kova was my strength, but I was his weakness.
A weakness he worked on to improve and make resilient. A strength that I drew from.
God, the complexity of that tore at my center. We were going to sleep in different beds with the same appetite, wake up with the same drive and same focus, work together to come out as one. We were a team.
"Say it," he pushed on in a whisper. I didn't need to, he could read the answer in my eyes. "I want to hear you say the words, Ria. I need to hear them."
I swallowed, shying away. "You." My voice cracked. "You are my strength, Kova." God, it was so true, and it nearly knocked the wind from my lungs. He really was what I relied on to give me what I needed, and I didn't realize it until recently.
He didn't gloat. "What inspires you?"
"You," I said softly.
"Ask me what inspires me."
I asked him.