Kova cleared his throat and ran a hand over his mouth. "Do you need help finding something?"
"Nope. I got it." I feigned innocence and smiled.
A few seconds later, I pulled out a small spiral-bound notebook. It was a gift Avery had given me when she came to visit last year for my birthday.
I walked back to the desk and pulled the top drawer open to search for a pen. Kova's eyes hadn't left my body. A modest smile curved my lips. I leaned down and penned a few salacious thoughts to paper.
It was genius and inconspicuous, and the perfect solution to get him to open up.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I stuck a pen through the spirals of the notebook and stepped between Kova's spread thighs. He immediately invited me to his lap and I handed him the notebook with a lazy smile. God, I loved how natural we were when no one was around. My heart was so full and content.
With a deep sigh, I inhaled his subtle scent that followed him everywhere. A sophisticated yet highly seductive fragrance that was cozy, warm, and all man. Kova's hand immediately palmed the curve of my hip, his fingers rested on my pelvis. They slid back and forth across my sensitive skin until the tips were under my lacy elastic. I basked in it.
"Any time you have something on your mind, something you want to say but can't, write it down. We'll both write stuff down and swap the notebook back and forth."
Kova glanced down. "This is probably the worst idea you have ever had," he said in a heavy lilt.
I turned toward him, bringing my knee up and resting my ankle on his inner thigh. Kova shifted me closer to him, his fingers pressing into my hips and staying there like it was the most normal thing in the world for us. Our gazes met, he wasn't backing down.
"You can't seem to communicate like a normal person and when you do, you hurt people. Writing it down is the only option for you."
Kova leaned forward. "And what do you think will happen when someone reads it? What if it got into the wrong hands?"
I shrugged and placed a hand on his firm chest. It was obvious how this would work.
"We never mention names. Never write my name and I'll never write yours. Don’t use the words coach and gymnast. No one would know whose it is if lost and found. It's a perfect idea."
"No," he whispered, then transitioned to Russian. Kova shook his head and peeped down at the notebook before giving me an unimpressed look. "I do not like this idea one bit. It is too risky."
"Oh, but your porn videos were a brilliant idea," I said sarcastically, slightly hurt he didn't like my idea. Kova just stared right through me. "Why not?" I scoffed. "You do it with your therapist. Why can't you do it with me?"
This was no different and he knew it. My gut told me he was being difficult because I had cornered him with having to face his feelings for once.
Leaning forward, I rested my arms on his pictorials and shifted until I was straddling his wide thighs. His hands wound up on both my hips, his fingers splaying over the curve of my ass as I lowered myself. I smiled at the easy laid back look in his eyes. I wished he always had that look. Kova arched his neck back onto the cushion and swallowed as he looked down at me. A soft breath rolled off my lips. He was so fucking sexy.
"Please," I asked with huge doe eyes. "For me?"
"It is not the same, and you know it." His voice struggled with consistency. "This is a ludicrous idea, Adrianna."
My smile faltered, but I covered it. Using my index finger, I traced his collarbone with a feather light touch while his open palms dragged up my back. His sensual touch made me feel sexy and I loved that feeling.
Kova budged forward to sit up straighter and I chewed my lip, contemplating another alternative. He whispered under his breath in Russian, then adjusted himself so we were chest to chest. My arms automatically wound around his broad shoulders and I drew him in.
Leaning next to my ear, he said, "I caught the slip in your smile. What is wrong? Tell me what you are thinking about." He cupped my shoulders from behind, his calloused hands kneaded my skin in a sensual massage.
"I would love to get inside your head. It would be insanely sexy to know your deepest, darkest thoughts."
I could only image what he daydreamed about. I was entirely too naive about sex still to think of anything wild the way I was sure he did.
His two-day old stubble rubbed along my cheek as he whispered, "You are already in my head, baby. More than you know." The seductive pull on each word caused goose bumps to trickle down my arms.
I pulled back. "You said baby and not malysh."
Kova gave me a one-sided smirk. His eyes a blaze of fire piercing every inch of my body. It was sexy as hell. I wondered if he had any idea of the power he wielded.
"You like when I speak Russian?" he asked.