I couldn't believe this. His response lit a fire under my ass and brought me back to reality. "We are nowhere near done here," I said quietly.
"What I do in my spare time really doesn't concern you. Like I said, it’s none of your business. You already made your mind up before I could say anything anyway."
"Oh, but it's totally your business who I fuck, right? I had to tell you everything about Kova, yet you can’t tell me whether you’re dealing drugs or not."
A huff rolled off Hayden's curled lips. "You're fucking delusional, you know that? It’s no big deal."
Giving me his back, he walked toward the living room where his clothes were, his shoulders growing tenser with each step. He dropped the towel and glanced around the floor.
"No big deal? You prey on our teammates!" I needed some kind of answers.
He pulled his shorts up and let go of the elastic with a snap, his severe gaze piercing me. "I give them what they need, that's all!" he yelled.
I reared back. "But why would you do that? It's illegal. They could get hurt."
"That's all you need to know. I'm not talking about it anymore."
"Aren't you worried you're going to get caught?"
"Seriously, drop it."
Everyone around me was a liar, so why would he be any different? You are who you associate with. My dad’s saying echoed across my mind. He used to tell me I needed to surround myself with people who were a reflection of me, a mirror of myself, otherwise I wouldn’t be perceived as someone respectable and trustworthy. So what did this all say about me? This newfound understanding wasn’t something I wanted to deal with right now.
"Hayden, help me understand this."
"There’s nothing to understand. It’s none of your fucking business, Adrianna. I don’t do anything differently for them that I don’t do for you."
"I don’t use drugs."
"No, but you use me, don’t you?"
An eerie, cold silence came over me. A wall immediately erected, and I shut down inside.
"Get out," I said, low and contained. "Just get out, now." I shoved at Hayden's chest until he stumbled back. "Get out!" I yelled, full of hurt.
He latched onto my wrist with a firm grip and yanked me
to a stop. "Aid," he said softly, changing his tone, "I didn't mean—"
"Get out!" I screamed.
"Adrianna. Stop. Listen to me, please—I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it," Hayden said. His grip tightened, but I was able to pull away. "I didn't mean it like that. You have to know that. I was just angry because you wouldn't stop pushing." Hayden spoke gently but the words were already out and couldn't be taken back.
Shaking my head, I stared at the carpet and pointed toward the door. "Please, just go."
Hayden stepped toward me, but I quickly raised my hand for him to stop, and he did.
"I trusted you and for you to say that… Friends don't do that."
"Aid—"
"Just go."
But Hayden apparently wasn’t going to stop until he got his point across. Raising his voice, he spoke over me, his chest flushed with irritation from straining. "You were giving me shit for what I do in my private time. You made assumptions. I got defensive. Anyone would."
"Not fair enough," I said low and quiet. "What I do in my private time has nothing to do with you and yet I still confided in you when I never had to. I'm always giving and you're always taking."
Hayden stood grounded in his spot for another moment. His nostrils flared and I could sense his frustration. "I knew this was a big fucking mistake. But here I am, trying to be the nice guy, as usual, and give you what you want because I care about you. And for the record, you take more than anyone I've ever seen. What have you given me or anyone else out of your own free will? Nothing."