If she only knew the kind of pills he's given me.
"You do not know, and you will never understand, what a gymnast's body goes through. That"—he pointed toward me and I opened my palms, the bottle rolling in my hands—"is an athlete's elixir. They need it to survive in this world. Lord knows I still wake with pain every morning."
I had no idea Kova was dealing with the aftermath of being a professional athlete. He'd never once complained before or appeared to be in any sort of pain. More concerning, I also didn't understand the hostility in his voice toward her.
She looked toward the floor, her lips pursed tight in annoyance.
Kova glanced my way and gave me a look that said he needed to be alone with Katja. Kind of the way my dad would give me the look, the one every child never wanted to see from a parent.
"Ah, it was nice seeing you, Katja. I have to get back to practice."
She didn't respond.
I sent a silent thank you toward Kova and went back to the locker room. Once there, I read the label and grumbled. This was a natural remedy and probably not nearly as strong as the real stuff. Still, it was better than nothing. I popped a couple of pills and took a swig of coconut water, then shoved everything into my locker.
Hushed voices carried down the hall as I exited the locker room.
"But, Konstantin, you promised to have lunch with me," Katja complained.
"I am sorry, Katja, but I cannot leave now."
"Why not?"
"I am in the middle of training Adrianna on a new dismount. I cannot go."
Katja's voice hardened. "You have not spent any time with me in weeks, and whenever we do have plans, something always comes up. I am your wife. Why are you treating me this way? You treat me like I do not mean anything to you."
I tiptoed toward the door and hid behind the frame. I couldn’t help the curiosity.
"You have the audacity to walk into my gym and demand why I am treating you this way? You know why, Katja. You are not my wife, not in the real sense of it anyway. You forced this lie upon us. You forced my ring on your finger. I will never forgive you for making me do this." Kova's voice was laced with malice, causing confusion to swirl through my head.
"You never put me first and it is getting tiring."
"You feel like I put you last? That is because I am putting you last." The brutal honesty was startling. I cupped my mouth. "It is where you belong."
"You say I have audacity? Look at what you have done. At least I am putting effort in and trying to make it work." She sighed. "It is what it is, Konstantin, why not make the best of it? I am here, and, after all, I love you. At least give us a chance. You promised me all those years ago. We have always been destined to be together."
"You are okay being married to a man who is not in love with you, Katja?" Kova said with a hint of disgust.
My eyes widened. Nothing but absolute shock registered inside of me. It took a lot of nerve to tell a person they'd been with for years and years that they weren't in love with them. While I didn't think Kova was in love with Katja, I did think he loved her. He had to, even if just a little. No one married for shits and giggles.
Nothing made sense.
"In time you will see that we are meant to be. I am here, Konstantin. Right here, every single day, trying to do what is right. I love you and I want you. I know what I did was wrong, but I know you can forgive me, just like I have forgiven you for what you did. Your sins are far worse than mine. It will take time, but I believe we will be fine. So, do what you have to do. Take out your frustrations on me. Use me."
I stared at the floor, waiting in silence, hoping he wouldn’t actually use her.
"Fine. You want me to use you, Katja? Take off your clothes and get on your knees."
My stomach dropped. I should've known. Bile rose to my throat as I heard what I could only assume was the shuffling of clothes coming off. I needed to leave, but I couldn't stop listening.
"I will do whatever you want, Konstantin," she said, her voice brittle.
I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between them, and why Kova said that Katja forced his hand. It sounded like their whole marriage was a sham, and deep down I wasn't sure how I should feel about that.
"Do not talk."
His cold words were distant, and if I wasn't listening, or I didn't know the sound of his voice, I wouldn't have pegged that as Kova.