Release (Off Balance 3)

I glanced down. His room was dark, nearly pitch back, but I could make out his outline thanks to the dim light from his closet he had left on. He had one knee cocked up, the other extended, and the comforter draped over his hips. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and I got to look at his insanely sexy body. He was resting on the right side of the bed, leaving the left side empty, as if he were waiting for me. With an arm thrown above his head, his face was nestled into his bicep, free of stress and worry. It was then I noticed his head was resting on the pillow I’d come on earlier. I blinked, a little surprised. He had said he wanted to smell my pussy and see the mark I left. He hadn’t been kidding.

I wasn't angry anymore. Maybe the wine had helped, who knew. What I did know was that I was lonely and wanted him to hold me.

Lifting the comforter, I slid in next to him, pressing my back to his front. He moved toward me almost like it was the most natural thing for him to do, even in sleep. He wrapped an arm around my waist and sidled up to me. I exhaled, settling against his warmth like this was where I was supposed to be.

In the stillness of the night, he softly called my name. "Adrianna?"

I hesitated for a moment. "Yes?"

"Do not ever call me convenient again."

For a moment my mind was jumbled and I flipped through events of the night until my lips parted in realization. My words had hurt him. Well, one word specifically. Convenient. It was the reason why his demeanor had changed so much, why he’d been so cold and ignored anything I’d said. I hadn't actually meant it, but now I felt bad that I’d said it.

"I didn't mean it," I responded quietly. He hugged me tighter and let out a breath down my neck. "I'm sorry."

"How is your headache?” he asked.

"It’s okay now. I think the wine and sleeping helped.”

"Good. Now tell me why you got so angry before.”

"I felt like what you said was true about us making progress and that scared me. If we are making progress, does that mean I forgive you? I don't know what to think other than I don't want to be that girl who gets walked on all over by the guy she likes. That’s why I said you were convenient. Then in the spare room I felt so alone and empty inside. I’ve never felt alone when I was with you before, but you ignored me and shut me out and it hurt me."

Kova squeezed me tight and placed a kiss on my shoulder. "You cannot deny we have made progress, because we have, just not a whole lot. Even I can admit we have a long way to go." He paused. "And as long as I am around, you will never be alone."

Just as I was about to doze off, he said my name again.

"Adrianna?"

"Hmmm?"

"If I ever found out you slept with Hayden, I would kill you both."

I couldn’t fall back to sleep so easily after that.

* * *

My nerves were shot. I was stressed about the second training camp, stressed about just being in the doctor's office sitting and doing nothing when I could be training, stressed that I had offended Kova—which is so fucking stupid considering all the things he'd done—stressed about Joy, stressed about Avery… Just. Plain. Fucking. Stressed. Out.

Now I understood why people took up habits like smoking and drinking.

Drinking. Drinking made me think of Kova.

This morning I’d woken wrapped in his warm arms, his chest to my back in the hushed serenity of his room. His body, though usually solid and firm, was the opposite when he slept. He was a giant teddy bear that demanded cuddling and I was perfect for that, because I did too. I didn't want to get up. We’d clung to each other, limbs entwined like we were holding on for dear life. Where he moved, I moved with him. If he wasn't holding me, I was wrapped up in him. We never let go all night. Even in our sleep we needed each other. With him in his bed, I felt an odd sense of peace when I should've felt anything but that.

And when his alarm went off too early for anyone—four o’clock in the morning—we both got up and had coffee together. He brewed a large pot and I just cozied up next to him on the couch, my legs thrown over his and my head nestled in the crook of his arm while he watched the news—Russian news to be exact. News all about his country. Of course I didn't understand a word they said, but that didn't bother me. Being with him like that, something as trivial as watching the morning news, gave me sanctuary and brought a sense of intimacy between us, and that was all that mattered. There was harmony. We were Kova and Adrianna, and nothing more, and I realized how much I wished it was always like that. I knew I was treading a fine line getting caught up in Kova again and I couldn't afford to, but in the moment it felt right.

My phone dinged and I quickly pulled it out of my purse while I waited for the doctor.

Coach: I like the idea of you in my bed while I am not there.

I shouldn't have smiled, but I did.

Me: You’re insane.

Coach: I am, and you make me that way, but everyone needs a little bit of insanity.

"Adrianna." My head snapped up. A nurse stood in the doorway near the receptionist’s desk with a questioning look.