Without thinking, I leaned into Sophia's shoulder and rested my head on her. She turned to look at me. I needed someone who wouldn't judge me, but instead help me carry this burden.
She embraced me with open arms, and I closed my eyes. For a split second, it almost felt like this was what she’d wanted, for me to come to her. Her hand ran down my hair in a maternal fashion and I sniffled, bringing her close to me.
"Your dad really wants to see you, Adrianna," she said, her voice soothing. "He's worried."
I hiccupped and pulled away, suddenly feeling weird. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Please don't apologize."
"I’m sure he's—"
The door to my hospital room opened and Dad waltzed in. He found me in a seated position and halted, his brown eyes widening. My heart dropped into the knotted mess in my stomach. Considering how we’d left off, I was expecting the worst.
"Adrianna!" he cried out.
My lips parted as he rushed toward me. I wanted to throw my arm around him and tell him I was sorry and that I never meant to upset him. The last thing I wanted was to drive a wedge between us.
Reaching my bedside, Dad put his arms around my body and hugged me like he never had before. An acute shooting pain like a bullet streaking through fire ricocheted through the length of my suspended arm. I gasped in agony, feeling instantly lightheaded from the vicious ache pulsating through my veins.
Dad pulled away and looked down at me as I clutched my arm in the sling. He visibly paled. "Did I hurt you?"
A whimper escaped my cracked lips. I hugged myself to hold in the pain as he cupped his mouth, his eyes filling with regret.
"What
happened to my arm?"
My breathing grew dramatically dense, my chest rising and falling at an amplitude that was borderline heart attack inducing. If I couldn't move my arm, how was I going to do gymnastics? Looking into my dad's guilt-ridden eyes, I softly pleaded, "Tell me, please."
I could compete with kidney disease. I could compete while pregnant. I could compete with an Achilles injury. But I couldn't compete with an arm that felt broken.
"Your elbow is dislocated." Shame colored his cheeks. "You're going to have to wear that sling for a while. In a few days you can begin working on little exercise movements to get you back up and running. The doctor said it could take four to six weeks to heal completely."
Four to six weeks? I shrunk back. "I have the biggest competition of my life in ten days. I'll take it easy today and tomorrow, and maybe the day after, but I have to be able to regain movement quicker than that in order to compete."
Dad stared at me like I'd grown two heads. His challenging gaze made me feel defensive. My elbow was dislocated because of him.
"You're going to be in excruciating pain, Adrianna," he said. "It's going to be next to impossible to practice so soon."
"I'm sure it's nothing I haven't experienced already."
"You're going to be on bed rest regardless," he countered.
"Trust me, I can handle it. If I'm brushing up against death’s door with stage four kidney disease, I can handle a dislocated elbow."
Dad’s mouth set into a grim line. "Even so, I can't imagine you're going to be able to practice for a couple weeks, at the very earliest."
My heart sank into my gut. A couple of weeks before I could begin practicing again. No. Not possible. I didn’t have fourteen days to spare. I would take a few days off, then start with a day or two of light stretches. Give myself five days total, then after that, all bets were off the table and I was going full steam ahead.
"Other than your elbow, how are you feeling?" Dad tried to change the subject.
How was I feeling? Angry. Hurt. Lost. Empty and totally gutted. I wanted to riot in the streets and then cry alone in my bed. There was a lot to talk about and I wasn't sure where to start or how he was going to react.
"I've been better."
Dad studied me, his eyes flickering through an array of emotions from love to disgust. This was as uncomfortable for him as it was for me.
"I think we need to talk about the extent of your injuries right now and the type of recovery you will be going through."