Reagan leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, "Good luck, Red." She winked at me. "I mean that."
Later that night after I'd packed my suitcase and taken my medication, Madeline texted the group of us a picture from earlier. Holly and Hayden were playfully mocking each other like typical siblings, and I was looking at Reagan with heartfelt tears in my eyes while she gave me the realest, kindest smile she could.
If a picture was worth a thousand words, I'd say this one was roughly worth seven hundred and fifty thousand of them.
I immediately saved it to my phone.
I couldn't wait to see where the future would take them.
Fifteen
My heart was heavy as we checked in at the airport.
It was five in the morning, and our plane was set to depart in just under two hours. Dad had told me he was traveling the entire way to the meet and back with me, and had made sure we were both on the same flight. It wasn't enough that I'd be flying with Madeline, he’d insisted he be there too.
I was hoping I could get a little shut eye on the flight to California. Last night I hadn't slept more than two hours, give or take. I couldn’t get comfortable because of the little aches pinching under my skin. Motrin was a joke. I’d considered taking one of the stronger prescribed pills I had left over from when I had the kidney infection. I didn't, though. I disliked the drugged up feeling.
My arm ached, and the cramps were worse at night, but I had the notion a lot of what I was feeling was because I was missing someone. The bone-deep heartache was taking a toll on me physically. It was killing me that he wasn't going to be by my side.
Once we cleared security, Dad and Sophia wanted coffee.
"Can we get you a cup?" Sophia asked.
I nodded my head. "Yes, thank you."
I never said no to coffee.
"Any food?"
"I'm good. Thanks."
"If you want to go sit, you can," she said and pointed toward the gate.
I walked to the somewhat empty waiting area and sat down in an open row of chairs and placed my carry-on at my feet. Dressed in a World Cup sweat suit, I pulled my hood over my head and folded my arms together so I could use them as a pillow to rest my head on.
I closed my eyes and tried not to think of how Kova should be here by my side. My entire being was missing him something fierce. It was like a sickness I couldn't shake—lovesick was real. I was already craving the inspirational words he liked to give me before competitions. I wouldn't get them or see the look in his eyes when he told me to be strong.
I clenched my eyes shut, pushing the emotion back. It wasn't fair, and if I had even the slightest feeling I could sway Dad, I would. But I knew there was nothing I could do at this point. Not after what he’d said to me. He'd made his decision clear and that was it. Plus, it was too late anyway.
Curling up into a ball, I tucked my knees under me and covered my face with my hood to block out the light. I was prone to migraines these days, and the blinding light inside the terminal didn’t help the pounding on the side of my skull. I drew in a lungful of air and my back tingled with awareness. I shifted in my seat and it happened again, this time stronger. My brows furrowed. It felt like a warning. My arms prickled, and my nose twitched from the faint scent of something familiar.
I felt a presence wash over me, but I hadn't heard any footsteps approach. Maybe I was more tired than I thought. I was in an airport with hundreds of people and my mind was playing with my emotions. I was too delicate when it came to him and his absence. It was the harsh truth, and after this weekend, I was going to try and stop mourning him so much. I didn't have the strength to let go right now. I needed to put all my focus into the sport. It was what Kova would've wanted.
Something in the air shifted and caused the rate of my pulse to increase. I flushed, and warmth pushed through my veins. Electricity danced around me like it was mocking me.
My cheeks bloomed with heat. I was hyperaware of someone watching me.
I held my breath.
The warmth in my chest made my heart speed up with anticipation.
I prayed this wasn't a cruel trick that my subconscious was playing on me.
I took a deep breath, then another, and another.
I knew before I opened my eyes…he was here.
I was terrified. I was scared of what I'd see, or what I wouldn't actually see.