It was crazy to me that I could be sitting right next to Kova yet feel miles and miles apart from him. Even crazier was it happened in the course of a month where we worked so near each other. The change in his demeanor left me confused. He was here, but he wasn't. Detached. He stood in front of me, but I couldn't feel his essence surround me like I usually did. Kova was never rude. On the outside he looked normal, like every other coach here. But when he looked at me and our gazes actually had the chance to meet, Kova appeared depressed for that brief moment. I tried to tell myself that we both were in the zone and he probably didn't even realize it. I had no real reason yet to believe otherwise since we hadn't talked.
My heart could only believe so many lies until it started to weep for the truth.
Reaching for the bag near my feet, I rummaged through and pulled out the notebook I got just for documenting my life once I had made the team. I'd done a little writing here and there, just not as much as I had hoped. Now I had time to kill.
I flipped open the notebook and ruffled some pages. I hoped the sound of the papers would make him curious to see what I was doing. At least initiate a conversation. But it didn't. Kova just stared ahead at the clouds, stuck in his thoughts. The look in his dead eyes made my stomach clench. This would've been the perfect opportunity to push him like he’d once begged me to, if only we weren't on a private plane filled with Olympic officials and athletes.
I wrote for a little while. Mostly things about Kova, and the feelings I was dealing with inside. How I fell for his flaws, my fears of the future and what I was up against. Where we would end up—yes, we. There was no fooling myself—I knew in my heart I would be wherever he was.
Closing the journal, I put it away safely hidden and took out the book Sophia gave me. I didn't want to be lost inside of my head anymore, and lately these words were an escapism for me. They gave me cause and a drive to be a better me.
I read for a little while then started to nod off. Kova still hadn't looked over at me, so I put the book away and shut my bag.
I couldn’t stand another second of seeing his head pressed against the glass any longer. Lifting the divider between us, I pushed it between the seats then pulled my legs up under me to get comfy. Without asking him, I leaned against his arm to rest my head on him.
That got his attention really quick.
Startled, Kova sat up straighter and immediately looked above my head. The tension in his shoulders loosened as he glanced around. I took that as a hint and nestled closer to him. Kova's gaze fell on me. Seconds ago, his eyes were vacant, now they were overflowing with turmoil.
I held my breath hoping he wouldn’t shake his head or push me away. Kova slouched at an angle in his black dress pants and stretched his legs out. His crisp, white long-sleeved shirt that'd been rolled up at the sleeves was wrinkled from sitting in the same position for so long. A few buttons were left undone and the collar bunched around his jaw. Muscular thighs filled out the material of his pants, and I couldn't help but notice his bulge when he shifted again. His length strained against his pants and it left nothing to my imagination. I stared longer, picturing how his cock looked bare and how it looked right then. My cheeks flamed and I clenched my eyes shut. I felt like I'd looked too long.
When I opened them and met his gaze, his eyes were a brilliant green from the way the golden sunlight was reflecting off them. A breath caught in the back of my throat. He studied me for a quiet moment, his softened gaze taking in every inch of my face. Truthfully, I was afraid I was going to lose him.
Kova turned slightly to the side and pulled the screen down to block the light. He reached for the blanket hanging off my chair and surprised me by fluffing it out before draping it around both of us. Kova raised his arm that I was leaning on and wrapped it around my shoulder. He snuggled me as close as he could get me until I repositioned myself. I was lying on half his side and half of his chest, so we had more of each other now.
I closed my eyes, and for a good moment, I didn't move. My thoughts were on him, how I felt at peace in my soul while in his arms, the way his warmth spread through me. I was secure and safe. His fingertips pressed into my upper arm and it just solidified how I felt. His body relaxed against mine and I heard him let out a long, relieved sigh under his breath.
We both held still for a long while. Together.
To my complete surprise, Kova's other hand slipped under the blanket. I stilled as he laced his fingers on top of mine and then curled them over to bring us to rest against his stomach. Kova exhaled slowly and I felt him unwind. Without moving, I lifted my eyes just enough to catch a glimpse of him. His eyes weren't squinting, and his jaw wasn't so tense. He looked…almost at peace.
I molded against the length of his body. Something in my stomach was warning me this was the calm before the storm. I blocked it out, not wanting to ruin this moment we both needed by overanalyzing it.
Kova shifted ever so slightly.
"I still love you, Malysh," he whispered, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. "Forever."
We stayed like this for the remainder of the flight and didn't move.
Thirty
"This is what you worked for. Are you ready?" Kova asked, running his hands up and down my arms. I nodded, blinking a little faster and breathing quickly through my nose. "Look at me."
My eyes snapped to his. I was feeling a little frantic. Kova was kneeling on one knee in front of me. For once I stood a little taller than him. We were standing in the back where only coaches and athletes were allowed, waiting to be called by country for introductions.
"Now take a deep breath and exhale."
I looked right into Kova's unwavering eyes and showed him how nervous I was. He glared back and shook his head, silently telling me to let it go. His gaze didn't waver until he felt I had. I expelled a tight breath and rubbed my chest.
The nerves from being in the Olympic arena were impossible to ignore. The moment I stepped off the plane, I felt the eagerness in the air. So much hope was packed into the city of Athens that would host seventeen days' worth of sporting events. It had been decorated and cleaned for the arrival of those participating and those who traveled to watch. There were rainbows of colors everywhere, each participating country brilliantly represented, and attendants walked around with massive smiles. The Olympics were the one place where every nationality came together and let bygones be bygones.
"Do not let this experience pass you by like most of us do. This is your moment and you need to enjoy it. You trained, you worked hard to get here. Nothing, and no one, can take this away from you. You may not realize it yet, but you are an inspiration to me and to people of all ages. So, take this moment in as much as you can, and let your body take over and do what you were born to do—perform. Do not let up here"—he pressed a gentle finger to my temple—"take away what is in here." He laid his finger over the left side of my chest, right over my racing heart. "You bloom under pressure where most crumble, Adrianna. You
are so incredible to watch. Believe me when I say, the world is waiting to see you walk out there today."
His eyes bore into mine. I could tell by how tight his words were and how stiff he spoke that he wanted me to believe him and trust what he said.
Like I'd done many times in the past, I trusted him.