This man loved me so much and it was ruining him. He was willing to suffer for a better us one day.
I gripped the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head and dropped it on the bed next to us. As I reached around my back to unclasp my bra, Kova sat up and stopped me with his hands on mine. I looked at him and froze, afraid he was going to stop me completely.
He didn't. Kova unhooked my bra and the straps fell down my shoulders. I quickly fisted his shirt and pulled it over his head. The corners of my lips curved slightly at the sight of the A on the left side of his chest. Delicately, as if it were still fresh, I grazed my finger over the jagged skin. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his chest. I was curious what Katja had thought when she saw it, because I was sure she had, but I didn't want to ruin the moment by asking him. This was about us. Our love. Our healing. Nothing and no one else needed to be brought into it at this time.
Kova's palm cupped the back of my head as I kissed my way up the curve of his neck, peppering more kisses along his jaw until I found his lips. His shoulders contracted under my touch as I rose to my knees and looked at him. His fingers pressed into the space below my butt cheeks. We stared at each other, unblinking, drinking each other in. Every lesson learned formed a new scar. I just hoped this one wouldn't hurt as much.
I stroked his jaw. His stubble was rough against my hand. My thumb brushed over his full bottom lip as his hands roamed the back of my thighs. Leaning into his mouth, I whispered, "I love you, Kova. I want you to always remember that." Then I pressed my lips to his and savored the feel of his lips on mine, and I kissed him longer.
Kova deepened the kiss. I moaned when his hand came up and the tips of his fingers gripped the sides of my neck. He hauled me closer to him in pure desperation. His devious mouth overpowered mine. He took control of the kiss and set the pace. I panted, my lips parting. Kova wasted no time delving his tongue into my mouth with a flair that weakened my knees. He was a skilled kisser and I was needy for him.
Lowering my hips, I scooted closer, needing to feel his bare skin against mine. My nipples pressed into his chest. I sighed into his mouth from the warmth exuding from his body and wrapped my arms around his shoulders only for Kova to break the kiss.
He quietly repeated what I'd just said to him. "I love you, Adrianna. I want you to always remember that."
I reached for the elastic of his shorts. My eyes caught his Olympic ring tattoo. I could get a matching one now. He watched me, then grabbed my wrist for a moment like he was nervous. I glanced up and swallowed thickly, meeting his gaze.
Kova let go and I shifted off his body to pull his gym shorts down. His erection sprang free and laid above his hips. My eyes widened. Thick with my favorite vein, his length hung a little to the side when he laid on his back. I dragged my teeth over my bottom lip feeling the desire awaken inside of me after it was dormant for so long.
"Come here," he demanded.
Kova grabbed the sides of my face when I climbed back up his body. He kissed me as he rolled us so I was underneath him. He crushed me with his weight, and I rejoiced quietly knowing he was reaching his breaking point. My hands found his back, suddenly greedy to touch him the way I wanted to after so long. I loved feeling how his muscles contracted under my touch. He was so strong. Little sounds from me melted into his mouth. My nails scored his skin. Kova flexed against my fingers then reached between us to unbutton my shorts.
Moving to his knees, he pulled off my shorts and panties in one swift move and then halted in his tracks.
His brows lowered into a harsh frown. I followed his gaze to my stomach and my heart sank.
"Kova," I said softly. He looked at me with blank eyes. "I'm okay."
He was hesitant, then dropped my shorts on the bed. He regarded my body with contemplative eyes then looked at me again. I smiled at him with affection. We were both bare to each other now.
Kova surprised me by kissing my stomach again. I pressed my lips between my teeth and bit down. I glanced at the ceiling, fighting the emotion from his tenderness. I wish he hadn't done that. My knees pulled up and my nails dug deeper into the sheets. I expelled an audible breath trying to find the strength for this—for us. I was shaking on the inside, unprepared for the emotional aspect to hit me the way it was. Kova placed his hand over mine and loosened my fingers that were twisting the sheet. I sucked in a breath. He climbed up my body, my knees spreading wide for him.
"Ria," he said.
I shook my head. I wasn't ready to face him now.
"Adrianna, look at me," he begged.
I couldn't. I was afraid to see that he regretted me, us, this. It was too much for my heart to handle.
"My love." His voice softened, and I broke down.
Tears streamed down my temples and I sniffled, still refusing to look at him.
"I can't," I said. "I can't look at you. I don’t want to see the regret in your eyes again. I already saw it once tonight when you first looked at my stomach." I flattened my lips for a second. "I don't want to see that you'll never want me like you used to."
Kova positioned his body over mine and laid on me, forcing me to look at him. "Even when I am dead, long buried, and forgotten about, I will still love you, I will still want you. That will never change. You are a part of me now, just like I am of you. We are connected for the rest of our lives." He leaned down and swept a sensual kiss across my lips. "And I am going to show you just how connected we are, Malysh."
Taking my arms, he bent them above my head and held both my hands securely in one of his. He captured my lips with his own and drove his tongue into my mouth determined to make me stop overthinking. He grabbed my thigh and hiked it over his waist to seat himself more comfortably between my legs. A moan purred in the back of my throat. His straining cock pressed against my hip as his kiss did wicked things to me. He moved his hand to my breast and my back arched in response. I let out a small sigh. He gave it a gentle squeeze then teased my nipple between his fingers. My body pressed into his, already begging for more.
Kova devoured my mouth, not giving me more than a second to take a breath before he was consuming me again. He tugged my nipple harder, so hard that I felt a zing hit my clit. I gasped in response and tried to wiggle my hands free so I could touch him. I needed to, but he held them down with more weight and deepened the kiss. His silky tongue twirled around mine and tugged before he let go and ran it along the roof of my mouth. Each and every time he kissed me like this, I was weak.
He slowed the kiss, then pulled back, allowing me to inhale needed gulps of air. I looked at him and my breath caught in my throat at the look of love in his eyes.
I’d been stupid to worry about how he felt about me and us. This man clearly loved me like he claimed.
Forty-Three