I avert my gaze and look down, thinking about the offer, shocked that I'm going to turn it down.
"What if I say no?" I ask quietly.
She lifts her hands as if to shrug. "Then you say no. I'd never push one of my girls into something they don't want. I'm not a pimp, Valentina. You come to me willingly, and you’re free to leave at your own will. Of course the money is fantastic, but being a full-time live-in girlfriend is demanding. You have to surrender part of yourself and be all in. It’s technically a full-time job. I was told that if you say no, to offer two hundred grand a month.”
My eyes widen and my lips part. She can’t be serious.
“I’ll be honest, my men don’t usually offer that kind of pay.”
My eyes are massive and my jaw is hanging open. She looks proud.
I sit in silence for a minute or so, contemplating how I’ll respond to the offer but also tell her that I can’t see James again. I’m sure anyone would say I’m stupid. It’s only a year, and I’d become a millionaire, but my emotional well-being is not something I'm willing to sacrifice. I have to protect myself. No one else is going to do it for me.
It's the right decision to decline.
I release a soft, regretful sigh. Not even money will win me over this time.
"Christine, I'm going to decline the offer, and while I do, I don't want to take James as a client anymore."
"If you give up a client, you give up everything he offers in the future. There's no turning back."
"I understand."
Her brows angle and she tilts her head to the side. "Did he do something wrong? Hurt you? Make you do something you didn't agree to?"
Yeah, he made me fall for him.
My teeth dig into my bottom lip. It would be so easy to lie, but something tells me she'd see right through it and I really don't want to do that anyway.
"No, I just think he should find another girl. It's best for both of us. We're already too close and I don't want us to fall further." I exhale a heavy breath and let it all out. "James is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. I feel like it would be too easy to fall in love with him, and I don't want that. I'm not looking for love, and I don't think he is either. We connected on a deeper level I think both of us didn't want to acknowledge, which is why I refused his last two jobs. I feel like I sound so stupid, but I'm not naive, and he pretty much admitted to me that he's in too deep. It has to stop before it goes further. In all honesty, I don't think he'll be surprised I said no."
"Did you have sex with him?"
"No."
Her brows lift. "Interesting."
She doesn't say anything else and it causes my stomach to harden.
"I'm sorry."
"Do not ever be sorry for using your head and playing it smart. It doesn't happen often, but there are clients and girls who do fall for each other. It never ends well. Never. Money can buy a lot of things, but it can't buy common sense. I'm glad you told me."
"He made me orgasm for him…a few times. I tried so hard to fight it off—"
She shakes her head and puts her hand up.
Now I know why she has that rule that I thought was so stupid in the beginning. It makes sense now. That feel-good feeling is undoubtedly tied to emotion and something everyone chases. We all want to feel happy and carefree, and whatever causes that short-term feeling is one we will continue to seek, regardless if it's good for us or not. I've always loved sex and if someone is able to give it to me how I like it, you can bet your ass I'd be going back for more. But tie in feelings and it ruins everything and makes it all a complicated mess.
"Stop. It's impossible not to when you're both into each other."
I frown. "You're not angry? I'm not going to get fired?"
"Did you come for Reece?"
My cheeks heat thinking about how hard I orgasmed because of him, how incredible it felt, how I would do it again if I could. But I didn't really come for him then.
"I came, but only while I was watching James. If James wasn't there, I wouldn't have." I pause. "Well, maybe after Reece I might have."