I smile. "Sneaky. I'm glad, though. I was wondering how you would get a hold of me. I'm about to walk into class right now. Can you call me in an hour and a half? I have a small break in between classes and can talk then."
"How about I meet you for coffee? I just need to see you."
I hesitate for a minute. Natalie will be around this part of town too and I don't want to risk it, but I do want to see him.
"That sounds good. Just not over here. How about—"
"I'll text you the place. Don't worry, no one will see us."
My shoulders loosen. Pulling open the heavy door to the lecture hall, I say, "Sounds good. See you soon."
"Later, sweetheart."
I smile to myself, eager to see James. That light and airy feeling inside my chest stays for a good portion of class, until I get a text from Daniel asking to meet me at our coffee shop.
Guilt wracks me. I lose focus on what my professor is talking about and stare at the text messages. I shouldn't feel as anxious as I am to see James. I should feel like this for Daniel. I mean, I do, but it's just not the same. Not even close.
I stare down at my cell phone, blinking, trying to figure out what I'm going to do. I decide to tell Daniel that I have plans with Natalie, but I'd love to see him for dinner later. I haven't seen him in days and I can tell he's getting antsy. We agree on a late dinner so I can do some homework beforehand.
I shove my phone away and decide not to check it again until class is over. I'm bothered that I'm happy. My heart is conflicted, and I hate that I'm learning to lie to the people I care about so I can please everyone. I'm seeing two men today. Both I really like, both vastly different, and both make me happy to see them. One drives me crazy and sets my heart on fire. The other balances me, allowing me to play it safe. I can't explain what's going on or how this happened, but all I know is that if I don't get my emotions straight, I'm going to slip and fall.
And I have this feeling I'm going to hit the ground hard, and alone.
* * *
"Is this the Aubrey side I’ve wondered so much about?" James asks as he rakes a gaze down the length of my body. I step up to him and he kisses my forehead.
"This is school girl Aubrey." I smile up at him.
Ripped jeans, Toms, and a loose, off-the-shoulder sweater with a stack of books in my arms. It's finally warming up, so I didn't bother with a coat today. I look around at the coffee shop that's about ten minutes up town. "I only have thirty minutes, then I have to head back to class."
"Not enough time, but I'll take what I can get. You look so fucking adorable. I want to take a bite out of you."
I flush and bite my lip. After we get our coffee, James guides us to a little booth in a corner. I place my books on the other side of the table and we sit next to each other. I sling a leg over his thigh so my foot is dangling between his legs and nestle close to him. He drops an arm across the back of the booth.
Reaching up, I palm his cheek and turn his face to mine. I press my lips to his and give him a kiss that just feels right inside. His hand finds my inner thigh and he gives me a tender squeeze, which sends my pulse roaring.
"What was that for?" he asks, breaking the kiss.
I shake my head and shrug. "Nothing. No reason. Just saying hi."
A shadow crosses his eyes. "Hey," he says in a low voice, and it makes me want to kiss him again. So I do. "How are classes going this week?"
"Exhausting." I take a sip of my coffee. "I'm looking forward to finally being done with college, to be honest. And here I wanted to get my masters or go to law school. I think my brain needs a rest before I jump into anything else."
"What happened to the foundation you wanted to start?"
I glance at James. "You remembered that?"
He pulls back, almost like he's offended. "Yes, of course. I loved the idea."
"Really?" I say, perking up. "I feel like you're the first person to tell me that. No one seemed to think it was a great idea."
His brows furrow. "Who?"
Averting my gaze, I look down at our drinks. "Just some friends. I told my grammy, but she’s biased." I smile to myself. "She supports me regardless."
"Were you going to give up on it because of the people who didn't see it was a good idea?"