“I know you probably have a lot of questions for me, and I’m sorry for showing up the way I did, but I had to get out. I just had to.”
“Oh dear,” she said, “don’t apologize. I’m glad you came here, but can you tell me what’s going on?”
It was only fair that Alyssa showed her the same consideration as she showed her. “I can, but can you promise me that you won’t tell Johnny just yet? Please? I don’t want him to feel like he needs to rush home. He seems to be really happy and focused. I don’t want to ruin that for him.”
Diane’s eyes softened. “I won’t say a word, but he’ll have to know sooner or later that you’re pregnant. I won’t keep that from him.”
“He already knows, Mrs. Jackson,” she stated, looking at the ground. She was ashamed to be pregnant in that moment.
Diane’s brow lifted. “He does? And he still enlisted and left you here all alone? I know I raised him better than that.” Her voice rose, angered that her son would do such a thing.
“In Johnny’s defense, he didn’t know I was pregnant until he came home after graduation.”
“Well, that makes me feel a bit better,” Diane’s shoulders sagged. “Is the baby his?”
Alyssa wasn’t going to start lying, so she told the truth. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m ninety percent sure it is. The thing is, he did some things to hurt me, and I wanted to hurt him back. It was stupid and childish now that I think about it. At times I wish I had never done it, but when I feel a kick from my unborn child, I regret those thoughts.” Alyssa shook her head. “How could I have been so stupid?”
“We all make mistakes, but a baby is always a blessing. Never look at it any other way.”
Alyssa flattened her lips with a nod of her head. “Thank you. Just please, don’t tell Johnny I’m here.”
Diane nodded. “So where have you been then?”
“At Ben’s house. Ben Jones.” she said miserably. “My mother threw me out when I found out I was pregnant. John was gone and I had nowhere else to go.”
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry to hear that. You can come here any time,” she said sincerely. There wasn’t a mean bone in Diane’s body. “I’m not one to speak ill of anyone, but I’ve heard he didn’t have the best childhood.” Diane pursed her lips together.
Alyssa sighed. “I know. Johnny told me, too.”
“Johnny.” Diane repeated softly. “I don’t believe I’ve heard anyone call him Johnny before.”
Alyssa couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “It started out as a joke one day, but then it just stuck.” Quietly, she said his name to herself wishing that he was still there. What she wouldn’t do to feel him touch her.
Clearing her throat, Diane said, “So tell me, what brings you here. You gotta give me something if you want me to help you, Alyssa.”
Alyssa released a long sigh and stared at the popcorn ceiling. Her heart was racing. She had to do this, had to show Diane why she was there. It was so easy to cover the marks so no one knew what was going on behind closed doors.
Slowly removing her jacket, Alyssa felt like she was barring her soul. It was scary as anything, fear ran through her blood and her breathing picked up.
Dropping the jean jacket on the barstool, Diane hissed and Alyssa’s eyes went straight to the floor unable to make eye contact with her. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” she whispered. When Diane said nothing, Alyssa peeked up and saw unshed tears in Diane’s eyes.
“Honey … what happened to you?”
Diane couldn’t seem to tear her eyes from Alyssa. She tenderly ran her fingers down Alyssa’s arm, touching each bruise and finger print that Ben left on her. She muttered something inaudible under her breath then touched the faded yellowish bruise under her eye.
“He’s been doing this for some time now, hasn’t he?” Alyssa nodded. “Do you have the same marks on your stomach?”
“No,” Alyssa said. “He’s never hit me there. It’s like he knew where to hurt me and where not to. These marks are a few days old. I don’t even remember what I did to deserve them—”
“You don’t deserve them, ever. No one deserves this, Alyssa. Nothing warrants this kind of behavior.”
“His favorite was getting the back of my legs with his belt buckle. He said it’s what his father used to do to him. John saw the marks, but I lied to him when he asked me about it.” When Alyssa saw the hurt in Diane’s eyes over her lie, she quickly added, “I had to! I didn’t want him running to my defense because of my actions. It’s not his problem.”
“Turn around,” Diane ordered. She lifted the back of Alyssa’s shirt and touched the old belt marks that stained her back. As she turned Alyssa around to face her, Diane palmed both of her cheeks in her frail hands and said, “You are not to go back to him. Do you understand me? I will not allow it. You will stay here. Got it?” At that, Alyssa burst into tears, unable to hold back and let go. Diane pulled her into a
hug and held her. Months of pent up emotion poured out of her and she couldn’t stop.
Why couldn’t her mother be like Diane?