Whispering against her lips, he took a chance. “May I?” His eyes met hers and he waited for her answer.
She nodded very slowly.
The first nod was all John needed. He pressed his lips to hers in a bruising kiss, he wasn’t holding back this time. This time she would feel just what it was that she did to him. She would feel that he wanted her, because he desperately did. Her soft pliant lips heated his whole body. Damn, he wanted her. Leaning into her, John pushed her up against the wall, feeling her body against his.
But it wasn’t enough.
He needed more.
He always needed more when it came to Alyssa.
John reached down and grabbed her hips, feeling the terrycloth material in his hand. He needed to feel her skin against his.
He broke the kiss and laid his hand at the opening of her robe near her neck. With his forehead pressed against hers, and their eyes never leaving each other’s, his fingers glided down her damp skin and a heated sigh rolled off her lips. His fingers danced over the plumpness of her breast until he met the material. He pushed her robe aside baring her chest and it caused his blood to stir at the sight of her pointed nipple. Her breathing was shallow, the outline of her collarbone showed with each breath. Goose bumps were visible on her chest and he reveled inside knowing it was from his touch.
John untied her robe, dropping the tie to the ground. His hands met her silky skin and she flinched, trying to close the robe.
“Don’t,” he begged.
“You don’t understand …”
Rejection showed in his eyes. “Then make me understand, please.”
Alyssa tried not to pull away, but she wasn’t the same Alyssa she was before she got pregnant. She was worn, and used, with stretch marks embedded in her skin. She wasn’t tight and elastic like she had once been. Not to mention she was absolutely terrified of sex again.
She took a deep breath and sighed. “Holding back and questioning you repeatedly about being here for Brooke goes back to my childhood. My father walked out when I was born and shows up every once in a while. I’m not on his mind or was ever his priority, and that hurts. How do I know you won’t do the same thing?”
“The difference is that he walked out once you were born, I walked in after she was born. I don’t want to leave, Alyssa.”
At that, Alyssa burst into tears and John held her to his chest. “It’s taking everything to open up again. I’m afraid of being hurt as badly as I was, so I pushed you away, and I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want to, I just didn’t know what to do.” She was truly sorry and hoped he believed her.
John placed both hands against the wall near her head. Leaning down he said hoarsely, “I’m not going to force you, Alyssa, you know that, but know that I want you so bad. I have from the moment I saw your swollen belly. Even then I wanted to take you and make you mine. You were so beautiful, soft and round with my baby. Brooke is mine in every word. And so are you.” John finished, planting his lips to hers and taking her in a breathless kiss.
Alyssa grabbed his neck, clutching John to her. She needed him as much as he needed her. She devoured his kiss as he gripped her hips, his hands roaming and kneading every inch of her backside as if he needed to touch every part of her. Heat flooded her core and a groan escaped her lips.
Alyssa fought hard to stifle her moans, but it was pointless. John’s touch ignited a heat inside of her that she thought had long been extinguished. His fingers changed tempo and grazed her naked flesh then cupped her ass, right next to her sex.
Her wet sex.
Fuck yeah … John thought at the little sounds she was making. Her fingers dug into his neck and his dick strained against his jeans. She felt so good against him that it took all of John not to take her right then and there.
“Johnny.”
A guttural groan vibrated in his chest. He fucking loved when she called him that. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ve got you.”
John scooped Alyssa up and carried her into her darkened bedroom and laid her down. Her legs parted, and then closed up quickly.
“Don’t, baby. Let me see you.”
Alyssa gulped. “It’s hard, Johnny. I’m not like how I used to be.”
“I know.”
Alyssa’s eyes rounded in surprise. Before she could say anything he shook his head and said, “You’re even better than before. Don’t worry about how you used to be. I want you now and that’s all that matters.” He said, placing his hands on her knees and slowly opening her up. “I want you,” he repeated, looking in her eyes, forcing her to believe his words.
Alyssa sucked in a breath and John’s eyes widened. Damn. If he thought Alyssa was beautiful before, well, he was dead wrong.
The post pregnancy Alyssa was stunning. She had small, lush curves and weight to her bones that he wanted to feel all night long.