Hold On to Me

“Fuck yeah,” he grumbled, arching into her. His dick was rock hard and ready to sink into her. Alyssa struggled to keep herself together, he could tell as she chewed on her lip. But John couldn’t resist. He leaned down and took her mouth, capturing her kiss. She made a little sound, wrapping her arms around his neck. She held him tight. His chest ached knowing she was holding back by the touch of her trembling fingers.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled against her mouth. “I’m here, honey.” His fingers slid along the crease of her breast and ribs, his thumb rubbing in circles.

“Sit up,” he ordered. He slid the robe down and took it off, flinging it over his shoulders. “Alyssa,” he groaned, staring at her. John cupped her much fuller breasts and he almost came in his pants. Fuck, he wanted her more than ever. He needed her so bad he ached.

“Alyssa. I want you.”

“You do?” she asked with doe eyes. “Even with all my stretch marks? I look terrible.” Her heart pounded against her ribs at John’s admission.

John’s eyes were filled with arousal. He cupped her face and said, “So. Fucking. Bad. Your body after pregnancy doesn’t bother me. If anything, it makes me want you even more. You’re so incredibly sexy that it pains me to hold back when you tell me to stop. I want you, stretch marks and extra weight and all. Just know every time …” he said, looking away shaking his head. “I want you. Even when you were pregnant, I wanted you so fucking bad it hurt, but I knew you weren’t in the right frame of mind so I held off, but knowing you need me now, and you’re refusing it, it kills me. You have no idea how bad it kills me inside. I want to make everything better for you.”

“I’m sorry …” she sniffled.

Sitting up, she reached for John. She cupped his cheeks in her palms and whispered, “Truth is, I’m scared, Johnny. I’m truly scared to open up and allow you into me, into my body, but into Brooke’s life as well. It’s hard. I don’t want to push you away, but I can’t stop it from happening either. I’m petrified you’re going to leave. Tell me that I’m wrong. Fight against me. Push and shove and tell me no, that no matter what I do that you’ll be there. Just be there, Johnny. Even when I say no over and over. I’m stubborn and hard headed. I don’t want to push you away, I swear, but it’s a defense mechanism that I can’t stop. You want us, both of us so bad? So fight for us and show me I’m wrong. Just. Be. There. Can you do that? Please?”

Alyssa trembled inside. Her jaw quivered and her eyes watered.

“Alyssa, I promise I’m not going anywhere, but you’re asking for so much. To go against you like that? How will I know when I’ve pushed too far?” Her shoulders dropped. No, that’s not what he wanted to happen. He got his words wrong. “I meant you’re asking for a lot, meaning for me to push your boundaries. You’re putting your trust in me, and I have to hold the responsibility. I don’t want to hurt you, Alyssa, because I think I could.”

She swallowed. “Maybe I need you to push me. Even when I say no, just do it.”

“Alyssa …” he kissed her tears away. His nose grazed her cheek then along her jaw and back up so their lips would touch. They hovered in front of each other, breathless, waiting for the next move.

“Just do it … I want you,” she confessed. Deep down she knew he would never truly hurt her the way Ben did.

“There’s no going back once I start. Are you sure?” his voice sounded like gravel. He almost didn’t recognize it.

She nodded. “Positive.”

“Get the monitor and bring it into the room just in case Brooke wakes up.”

Alyssa’s heart melted knowing Brooke was on John’s mind. She grabbed the monitor from her bathroom and headed back into her room. The sight be

fore her stopped her in her tracks. He was on her bed naked, his perfectly honed body made her mouth water.

“Uh uh. None of that. Get your ass over here.”

As she tilted her head to the side, John said, “I see the look in your eyes, and I know what you’re thinking. Come here, honey. Don’t shy away from me.”

Step by step, Alyssa placed the baby monitor on her dresser then made her way over to the bed. She pressed a knee onto the mattress but before she could take another step, John reached over, grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her to him. She yelped, surprised by how fast he moved. Gulping hard, she looked into John’s eyes as she lay naked on him. His knees where propped up, her ass pressed against his thighs where his cock cushioned her sex. Alyssa’s cheeks flamed, heat rose to her face knowing John could feel how wet she was. One hand was on the small of her back, the other holding the back of her neck, trapping her on him.

“Shhh … Just relax, baby.”

“I am relaxed,” she lied, and he grinned. A panty melting kind of grin.

“You’re such a liar,” he chuckled. His fingers moved seductively across her lower back and she shivered in his hold. John flicked his chin up then captured her mouth with his. Their tongues wrapped around each other naturally, warmth seeping through and connecting them. John began slowly rolling his hips up, his cock sliding up and down her wetness. His fingers threaded through her hair and gripped the back of her neck. John lapped at her lips slowly and methodically. If she wanted him to fight for her, then he would break her down with his touch and make her beg for him.

Pulling back, Alyssa asked against his lips, “Am I too heavy for you?”

John’s brow arched and a smile tugged at his lips. He brushed the damp strands of hair away from her face. “Are you serious right now? No, Alyssa, you’re not too heavy for me.” He chuckled. “In fact, you feel perfect in my arms.”

“Okay.”

“Now give me those lips.”

Alyssa’s half smile flashed before she kissed John. As he thrust his hips into hers, heat coursed through her blood and she found herself moving at the same tempo as John. It was sexy, and it was hot. It was what she needed. They held on to each other while their hips rocked slowly back and forth. Heavy breathing and deep breaths were the only sounds in the room.

Nibbling on her bottom lip, John wrapped his arms around her back and then rolled them over. A startled Alyssa stared up at him and he grinned. Her skin glimmered from the bathroom light that dimmed the room. Her rosy nipples puckered. They were much pinker and larger than he remembered.