There were butterflies in my stomach. And they were fighting with each other.
“There are things that you don’t know about me and that I can’t tell you right now,” he said. “That I need to protect you from.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I know that. I know you can. But can you protect yourself from me?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want the things around me…around you. Everything always turns to shit around me.” I saw his throat working.
What was he hiding from me? He was so closed off. So private. So careful of what he shared about himself. Everything around him was shrouded in mystery. I practically didn’t know anything about him.
“There is no bet.” His voice was hard, his eyes looked at me directly.
I looked at him, confused. It took me a few moments to catch up to what he was saying.
Oh. He was addressing what I’d said earlier when I was in the middle of my tirade.
“I would never do that to you.”
I believed him. I was so screwed.
“I don’t air my bus
iness to anyone. Not even my friends,” he continued. “I told you before, and I’m telling you again: I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Who was that, then? The one who owned the Ferrari?”
He loomed over me. I should’ve been intimidated by his sheer size alone, but oddly enough, I felt safe with him. I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Physical harm, at least. And for now, he wanted my forgiveness. I knew my heart was safe with him. At least for now. But I also knew that could change. I wasn’t naive anymore. Or I wanted to think I wasn’t.
“No matter what, it’s not somebody you have to worry about. I won’t let anything hurt you,” he said.
Was that what he was doing earlier when he told me to leave? Would the owner of that car really hurt me? Why?
I won’t let anything hurt you, he’d said. But he already had. And I realized with shock that the only thing that could hurt me was him. My stomach flipped. Why would he have that power over me? Why had I handed it to him? In so short a time too.
“That’s not good enough,” I told him. “I need to know more.”
“It’s going to have to be good enough for now. All I know is that I don’t want you mixed up with the bad things in my life. I can’t let that happen. You are,” he said, his voice deepening. He paused for a moment, his eyes searching mine. “You are important to me.”
His words, spoken with certainty, were a balm to my heart. I had no clue what was going on with his life, but it seemed like he wasn’t ready to tell me. I can’t tell you right now, he’d said. So maybe someday he would.
Someday? Was I already thinking about us being together in the future? Shit, why?
“What now?” I asked.
He crossed his muscular arms over his chest. “I don’t know.” He sounded defensive.
“If you can’t explain it right now, then just tell me something about you. I hardly know who you are.”
He opened his mouth, about to say something, and stopped when he looked behind me in the distance. His eyes widened. I was going to turn around, see what he was looking at when he said, “You should stay away from me.”
Frustrated, I glared at him.
“You shouldn’t have come here tonight,” he added.
“What?”