He nodded. “Good. Your hair’s wet.”
“It’s raining.” I yawned.
“You should get something to eat. Want me to heat up some food for you?”
“I’m tired. Going to bed.” I got up.
“Sometime, I’m going to sit you down and I’m going to have to CIA-interrogate you about what’s going on.”
I laughed nervously. “I know. I’ll tell you. I promise, but not yet.”
He nodded. “All right. Make sure you do. Love you, sweetheart.”
The moment I closed my bedroom door behind me, I squeaked out a joyful “Eeeee!” and jumped in my bed.
I grabbed my pillow, hugging it tight in my arms. Was this how it felt to be in love?
As if nothing could go wrong, as if nothing could piss me off. Everything was just so damn good.
But wasn’t this just too fast? Even though it felt like we’d known each other for a long time, the truth was it’d only been a few days. It couldn’t be real yet, could it?
Was love at first sight real?
I thought back to the very first day I saw him outside the lecture hall when, somehow, I had known—no, I’d felt that he was going to be a part of my life.
I turned on my side, closed my eyes, hugged my pillow with both hands and feet. So, do we date now?
I bit my lip, so I couldn’t squeal like a super-excited seal.
Cameron Jeremiah Saint Laurent.
Wow. How hawt was his name? Scorching.
I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted him to open up to me, without hesitation. I was going to peel him like a sexy banana, until I knew everything about him. It was just so weird feeling this way.
But if he wasn’t ready, that was fine. I knew how hard it was to get him to talk about himself. I could be patient.
I knew though that he wanted to get to know me better. Like his version of better. That was fine. I guessed I wanted that too. But not right away. Maybe in a few years.
Making out was fine. Maybe even…second base?
He’s a guy though. Guys nowadays aren’t interested in a relationship without sex. Hello? What century are you living in?
I sat up quickly, my hair flipping against my face. I flicked it off.
Besides, you do remember that make-out sesh you had with him, right? He had no qualms letting you know what he wanted.
Well, I’d just have to have a talk with him. Communication is the key with these things. He knew I was a virgin. He knew where I stood when it comes to sex. If he didn’t, I’d let him know.
I didn’t play games when it came to relationships. If I did, I’d have gone out with a number of guys already. My dad had never even dated after my mom left him. I wouldn’t make the same mistake
he did. I’d seen how hurt he was after she left. I didn’t want that for myself, and I didn’t want my dad to watch me experience that. It would just be another heartbreak for him. I had been very careful.
I didn’t date just for the moment. Or just to have fun. If I decided to be with a guy, it was because I was serious. I had forever in my mind.
What was the point in continuing to date him if I knew he wasn’t going to be the one?
Maybe he was the one, maybe he wasn’t. But I was going in with the knowledge—or hope—that maybe…maybe he was.