He looked so angry, and I knew it was targeted at himself.
“I’d beaten them before. Surely I could do it again. But I didn’t. They beat me up. And they found the flares.”
I held my breath, terrified to hear the rest of his story.
“They weren’t there for Pete. I knew that. They were there for me. For me. They wanted to get their pound of flesh, scare me, beat me up some. But it got out of hand.”
His hands fisted, the veins in his arms popping in anger.
“One of them lit one of the flares, but it burned his hand, and when he dropped it, it rolled under the car. It was the middle of summer. All that dry grass and heat.”
A horrified sound came out of my throat.
“It burned the dry grass around the car and it filled it with smoke. Lots of smoke. I screamed at Pete to open the fucking door, but he wouldn’t. I could hear him coughing, gasping for breath. I tried to break the windshield, the windows, but I was too weak. I could see my hands bleeding, trying to break the glass, but it was no use. I grabbed a rock, anything, but nothing worked. Pete was looking at me, just looking at me. He wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t fucking move.”
He dropped his head in his hands and stayed like that for a while. But this time I touched him. And this time, he didn’t flinch. He lifted his head to look at me, and we stared at each other for a moment.
I leaned over so I could wipe the tears off his cheeks and lay a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. He closed his eyes, seeming to absorb my touch.
“Finish your story, Cam.”
He nodded. “I must have passed out,” he continued in a hoarse voice. “When I woke up, there were police and firefighters everywhere. There was a paramedic seeing to my hands. He said I had burns, but I didn’t even feel anything. I wanted to find Pete.”
When his eyes turned to me, they were filled with sorrow and pain and guilt.
“But he was already gone,” he whispered. “He was gone.”
Chapter 28
Kara
There was no question in my mind what I needed to do. I crawled on his lap, wanting to get as close to him as I could, offering him the warmth of my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, resting my cheek on his shoulder.
He stiffened for a moment, and my heart ached realizing that he wasn’t used to people touching him for comfort. I squeezed my arms around him, letting him know I wasn’t going anywhere. And then his arms were there, pulling me closer against his body that had turned hard and cold.
I wasn’t sure I’d get used to the feel of his brawny arms embracing me. It felt new. But it also felt like home. And it felt right. Like I was supposed to be here. I closed my eyes and just held him.
He was so solid, so strong and powerful that even though I was the one who wanted to protect him, he was the one who made me feel protected just by being in his arms.
“Cam,” I said gently. I waited for him to respond with words, but he didn’t. Instead, his grip around me tightened. I could feel his fingers pressing against my back, pulling me closer to him. “It’s not your fault.”
His body trembled.
I knew that, sometimes, all you needed was someone to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. Some sort of assurance that someone believed in you, especially when you didn’t believe in yourself.
I wasn’t sure if that was what he needed, but it was what I could give him. My words paired with my touch would hopefully convey my faith in him.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you and to your friend,” I said. “It was a tragedy. There was no way you could have known what would happen that day or else you would have done everything in your power to stop it. You’re a protector. You protect the people you care about. You did everything you could to save him.”
He didn’t answer, just held me. I tried to pull away so I could see his face, but his hand slid up from my back to grip my neck gently but firmly, silently telling me to stay where I was.
I closed my eyes and let him take comfort from my embrace. Then I said, “Nothing that you or anyone could say to me would change my mind about it.”
I felt his body start to relax, the stiffness in his shoulders and arms dissolving. I smiled as I felt him kiss my hair.
Who would have known he was affectionate like this?
“Kara,” he said softly. “Kara.”