Cameron
“You’re beautiful.”
She was. I’d never seen anyone more beautiful. Especially right now, when her face was glowing from the aftermath of her orgasm.
She closed her eyes. There was a secret smile on her lips.
My back stung from the imprint of her fingernails. She’d dug them in deep.
My spitfire.
Her arms and her long legs fell limply on the bed. I stroked her stomach, her sides, fascinated at how big my hands looked on her body. I could hold almost her entire waist in them.
I massaged her arms gently, her legs, taking care that she was comfortable, then grabbed the folded blanket we hadn’t used and covered her with it.
The look of satisfaction on her face made me want to make her come again. Her climax came so quickly that I wondered if it was always going to be like that. Was that her first? It made me want to give her more pleasure, find out if that was true.
But I knew she wasn’t ready for that yet. I wanted to pump myself inside her, feel the eager thrust of her hips as I let myself get lost inside her wet, tight heat…
“I’m taking a shower. Be right back.” I pushed up from the bed before I did something we’d both regret in the morning.
She’d said she wanted to wait, and I meant it when I said I would never push her. She had to come willingly to me.
But damn. The sight of her spread on that bed, all rosy and soft and so fucking beautiful…
I clenched my jaw. A cold shower would be a good idea right about now, I thought as I headed to the bathroom. She was ruining my self-control.
I glanced at the clock, noted it was one in the morning. We’d only slept for a couple of hours.
Needs and wants, I thought as I turned on the light, took off my pants, stepped into the shower. There usually wasn’t a confusion between the two for me. I could differentiate and prioritize them quite easily. With Kara, everything got blurred but for one thing—there was an absolute demand inside me, an almost desperate one, to keep her in my life.
I had slashed myself open, willingly, in front of her and spilled my guts—secrets that I’d been harboring inside for years that ripped me apart every time I thought about them. Much less spoke of them.
But I knew that was what she wanted from me. And I was desperate enough to do anything to keep her.
There had been no choice for me after that. It was either tell her or lose her.
And the thought of losing her was unbearable. And this time I knew it would happen if I didn’t do anything.
It surprised me how I felt after telling her everything. It felt…less dark around me. As if a heavy shadow had taken a few steps back. It was still there—I could still feel it hovering—but it was somehow less ominous now. It didn’t seem an all-consuming presence as it was before.
What shocked me more than anything was that she stayed.
She fucking stayed.
I knew there was a huge possibility that she would leave when she’d heard the whole terrible story. I told her everything anyway. Because she had asked it of me. And if there was even a slight chance that she would stay, hell, I’d take it.
There had never been anyone like her before in my life. Everything I’d experienced with her was all new to me. I had no baseline, nothing to compare it to. And I was afraid I’d screw it all up. In fact, I was sure I would screw it up.
I wasn’t sure about a lot of things, and that was fine, but there was one thing I was certain of—with absolute fucking clarity. The moment I woke up and saw her, with those big hazel eyes filled with emotion that choked me up, there was this overwhelming need to touch her, claim her for myself, make her feel how important she was to me. And I was going to show her the only way I knew how.
Not with words or promises, because I had never been very good with those, but with my touch. Make her feel even a tenth of what I felt for her, give her something I could only give her.
And she had welcomed me, given a part of herself to me. I knew how much it meant to her. I remembered her telling me how she’d never dated anyone before and that she was still a virgin.
And for her to give herself willingly to me made my breath hitch. Made me feel that I… meant something to her. Something important.
I want to be your monkey. I chuckled. She did this thing where she’d rest her cheek on my shoulder and rub. Like a sweet cat. It was so unexpected. Freakin’ drove me insane.