“There’s a lot to do if I’m going to give the school back to you with the walls still still standing.” I walked into the kitchen and my eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re cooking?”
“I’m trying to keep busy.” He flipped a hamburger in the skillet and I saw peeled potatoes that had been chopped into wedges sitting on the cutting board.
“Need any help?” I opened the fridge and grabbed a beer.
“You can put some plates on the table if you want.” He pointed to the cabinet where the plates were kept.
“Sure thing.” I nodded and opened the cabinet. “You’re not drinking tonight?”
“No, I took your advice and spoke to a psychiatrist today. She gave me some good advice.” He looked over his shoulder and smiled. “She also gave me some good drugs.”
“I see...” I nodded and walked to the table.
“Nothing crazy—just something to take the edge off and keep me from running to the bottle. She put things in perspective and I haven’t felt this good in—at least a year.” He finished cooking the hamburgers and moved them to a plate before he started frying the potato wedges.
“So what did she say?” I felt my curiosity rising as I saw his jovial mood.
“I’m setting unrealistic expectations and I need to realize that I can’t change the world. I can only control what goes on in my sandbox.” He pushed the potato wedges around in the skillet. “If I’m not happy with what I’m doing, I need to find something that makes me happy.”
“So what is going to make you happy?” I picked up the plate with the hamburger patties and grabbed the buns from the top of the fridge.
“I don’t know yet, but I aim to find it. Maybe it isn’t Grantham University. Maybe it isn’t teaching at all.” He shrugged and started salting the potato wedges.
“Does that mean you’re ready to go back to Grantham?” I wasn’t ready to leave, but he seemed to be in a much different place than when I first took over for him.
“No.” He shook his head back and forth quickly. “What you’re doing is a blessing. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know I need time to figure it out.”
Sloane finally finished cooking and we sat down to eat. There was definitely something different about him. Either the medication was taking him to a new realm of happy or he was genuinely at peace after meeting with the psychiatrist. I never dreamed that he would have such a drastic turnaround so quickly. I figured he would need intense therapy just to get him out of his funk. If the miracle of medicine was that good, then I might need to see a psychiatrist the next time I got in a foul mood. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case for me. I was walking on a cloud of bliss after my time with Bethany. We devoured our dinner then walked into the living room. I continued drinking beer while he sipped water. He actually stayed up pretty late, just talking about the old days and some of the things we did when we were kids. It was the first time we had actually sat down and had a conversation like that in a long time. Even before I caused us to be estranged by having sex with his wife, we weren’t really close—not like brothers should be. We were more like strangers bonded together by a common bloodline than family.
THE WEEK FELT LIKE torture. I couldn’t have Bethany in my arms and it was like a part of me was missing. We had casual glances—sometimes a warm, wet kiss filled with our passion when I could pull her away from the crowd in the hallway—but life was in the way of what we both desired. I couldn’t really bring her to my brother’s house, the moment was never right after school with other teachers hanging around, and she was actually making an effort with class. A few times I watched her in the library, smiling as she got frustrated with an assignment or tried to figure out what she was reading in her textbook. She was like forbidden fruit and while I would have wore our relationship with a badge of honor if I could have, I knew it would have destroyed my brother’s career to even tell anyone about it. Someone knew, though—Mr. Matthews had been silent, but he knew the truth. He was a loose end and I didn’t like it. After several days passed, I was convinced he was going to let it go, even if he did shoot me an angry glare every time I saw him. My mind was too full of Bethany to really delve into the the possibility of what he could do if he decided to tell the wrong person about what he saw.
“Tonight...” Bethany’s lips lingered against mine in my office.
“Yes.” I nodded quickly. “I turned in a detention form. It’s Friday night so none of the teachers really want to do it. I told Mrs. Smith I would handle it and she practically did a back flip.”
“She’s ninety years old...” Bethany grinned and her eyes sparkled as she started to laugh.
“She’s agile for her age. She was just overcome with joy.” I shrugged and laughed, pulling Bethany close again.
Her lips were like crimson-coated fire against mine. I would have devoured them and pulled her into my office to feel her naked body against mine in an instant if I could have found a way to make it work. When I heard my secretary walk in, I had to pull away quickly and pretend like I was scolding her. My secretary gave me an understanding nod—thinking Bethany was in trouble again. Bethany left and I spent the afternoon doing paperwork. When I first arrived, my days were filled with a line of students in need of punishment, but the lines had gotten so sparse it was almost boring. I did what I could and passed the rest to the Assistant Principal. The technicalities were a little over my head and the budget might as well have been Greek, but I was getting better with it as the days went by. The day ended and I was anxiously awaiting Bethany’s arrival, but I heard footsteps that were too hard to belong to her. I looked up to see Mr. Matthews entering my office. He didn’t wait for an invitation and I could see by his body language that he was walking with a purpose.
“Mr. Thorne.” He gave me a nod and took a seat across from me.
“What I can do for you, Mr. Matthews?” I leaned back in my chair and looked across my desk at him.
“I’ve been trying to decide how to talk to you about this and while I usually struggle with confrontation like this, I don’t want to spend the weekend going over it in my mind again.” He looked down for a moment.
“This is about Bethany?” As if on queue, I saw her in the corner of my eye. I quickly shook my head at her and she left the office once she realized Mr. Matthews was there with me.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I tried to rationalize it in my head. I’ve had a weak mind. I’ve thought about—damn have I’ve thought about it—but you did it. You didn’t just think about it, you didn’t go home and masturbate to the thought—you actually did it.”
“I did.” My anger started rising as he referenced her in a way I didn’t like, but I bit my tongue since he did control a good portion of my fate.
“It is just further proof that Grantham University is the work of the devil. These freaking kids, man. They’re devils in tartan skirts—bullies in knee socks. I can’t do it anymore.” He finally lifted his head.
“You’re quitting?” I raised an eyebrow in surprise.
“No.” He shook his head quickly. “I need my pension, but I can’t stay here until I retire. I need you to get me out of this nightmare.”