Club Endless Fantasy

Elly: My phone has a lot of great filters. :)

Ian: I don’t think a filter made you smile.

Elly: It’s getting late. I should go to bed.

Ian: I really can’t convince you to let me be your Secret Santa?

Elly: No. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.

Ian: Will you think about it?

Elly: Thinking about it isn’t going to change my mind.

Ian: Okay, then I want something else from you the next time we talk.

Elly: More Christmas decorations?

Ian: No, I want you to give me three good reasons why you don’t think it is a good idea.

Elly: I could list them right now…

Ian: No, I want you to really think about them.

Elly: Fine, I’ll have them for you tomorrow.

Ian: Sounds good. Goodnight, sweet dreams.

Elly: No jokes about sugar plums?

Ian: Nah, I want you to dream about something better than sugar plums tonight.

Elly: Goodnight, Ian.

I took my chance. I wasn’t sure if it was going to blow up in my face, or if she would put some thought into it. She obviously liked talking to me—that seemed like a good foundation for more than a conversation. I just needed to find a way to get Elly to see past her hesitations and convince her that it was a risk worth taking. In order to actually do that, I needed to know what was holding her back. It would have different if we were in the same room and talking face-to-face. I could gauge her reactions and get a feel for them. That was impossible over the phone. I couldn’t even tell if I was chipping away at all of those hesitations. I had to believe I was—because mine had already begun to break down.

I toned to trust my instincts here. I can’t ignore them.

I trusted my instincts when they told me that I wasn’t going to find anyone else after Abigail. They caused me to put an abrupt stop to every relationship I attempted after her before any of them even had a chance to get off the ground. I always believed they were sparing me from the eventual heartache of having to tell someone I didn’t feel the same way—it was easier to stop things before they ever got to that point. My instincts—those gut feelings that didn’t always make sense—were what made me choose to launch the Secret Santa Romance app in the first place. They hadn’t failed me yet, and they were telling me that I shouldn’t give up on Elly, even if she had enough hesitations for the both of us.

I just want to have a chance to keep putting that beautiful smile on her face.

Chapter Seven

Elly

“Why is this so hard?” I stared at the ceiling and sighed.

I was alone in my bedroom, but I had been talking to the wall for nearly t

hree hours while staring at the blank screen on my phone. I planned to make a list of reasons for Ian as soon as I got up, but it was almost noon, and I didn’t have a single one. I also didn’t make it into the office like I originally planned because I got so distracted with the list I was trying to work on. My reasons were so plentiful the night before, but none of them really made sense. They weren’t reasons—they were excuses—and the morning brought clarity I wasn’t ready to accept.

I should have just rattled them off last night when I had some alcohol in my system…

There were plenty of excuses I could write down. I was too busy. I needed to focus on my career. Relationships were complicated. Dating was the first step towards a broken heart. It would have been a lot easier if Ian was just a jerk I could blow off without feeling bad about it, but he wasn’t. He was kind, generous, he made me smile—he made me laugh—and he was hot. Every time I looked at his profile picture, I felt a warmth that reminded me how long it had been since one of my date nights chased away those kinds of desires.

Now I’m just coming up with reasons why I should consider letting him be my Secret Santa…

I knew that clicking the button meant more than just exchanging gifts. It was an admission of mutual interest—an open invitation for Ian to pursue me. I didn’t want to lead him in that direction if my heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t cruel enough to do that to anyone, even the jerks that deserved a little disappointment in their lives. Ian seemed like the kind of guy that deserved the exact opposite.