Obsessed with a Daddy

“Are you feeling better?” I leaned forward to look at Holly on the other side of the screen. “You look better.”

“Yeah, I think the stomach bug passed.” She gave me a half-hearted smile—it still wasn’t the beautiful one I was used to seeing.

“Good.” I nodded. “Antacid?”

“I bought some today!” She held up a bottle of Tums. “I’ve been staying hydrated too—just like you said.”

“Gatorade?” I raised an eyebrow when I spotted a bottle beside her. “Water would be much better.”

“This is the thirst quencher.” She held up the bottle and pointed at the slogan. “See, it says it right here on the bottle. It’s got electrolytes!”

“And sugar…” I narrowed my eyes. “A lot of sugar.”

“Okay, doctor.” She looked down, and I heard a light chuckle.

“Speaking of that, I’ve got something I wanted to tell you.” I adjusted the laptop so that she could see me better.

“My boss offered me a new job—working at an Urgent Care center.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow. “When you finish your residency?”

“No.” I shook my head back and forth. “I would start immediately—which means I might be able to actually make one of those trips to Arizona we discussed.”

“Ah, that would cool.” Her reaction was rather nonchalant.

“It’s a good opportunity…” I didn’t finish my sentence or tell her any of my concerns since she didn’t seem to be invested in the conversation. “It pays better than what I make right now.”

“Sounds like you should take it.” She nodded and gave me what looked like a forced smile—again.

“I might.” I shrugged. “I would like to be able to come see you—I probably won’t be able to squeeze anything in before Thanksgiving, but maybe I can fly out before you come back for Christmas.”

“I would like that too.” Holly gave me another nod—and I didn’t see a hint of excitement.

Something was still off with Holly. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but she wasn’t her usual self. She didn’t smile as much—she seemed like she was forcing it when she finally did—and her laugh was hollow. If I was there with her, I felt like I could have gotten her to open up more, but it was really difficult over Skype. I tried not to pressure her for details after I covered the usual stuff that could be wrong, like school, and her relationship with her parents. She got tired even earlier than she did the previous night, so the conversation was cut short. I hoped that wasn’t intentional on her part.

My analytical brain could come up with a million things that could be wrong—but the one that worried me most was the long distance relationship. We were perfect when we were together, but she was still a young woman trying to figure out who she was at college—surrounded by people who were using those four years to make as many mistakes as possible before they embarked on their journey to the real world. I didn’t think Holly was like that—she didn’t even hang out with the one girl who tried to convince her to make bad choices. Her new group of friends sounded like they had a better grasp on things.

What in the hell is going on with her? I wish I could fly out tomorrow—it would be much easier to figure it out if I was there with her.

I was worried when I finally made it to bed. I couldn’t shake the lingering fear inside me—the fear that I might actually lose her. I would fight for what we had, but what if the battle had already been lost? What if she was going to break up with me when she came home for Thanksgiving, and she was just treading water until then? I hoped it was just the stomach bug, and I was analyzing it to death—that would have been a blessing. The other option twisted my stomach into a knot to the point that I felt like I was the one with a stomach bug.

Holly taught me how to live in the moment, and the moment we shared was amazing—I didn’t want it to be the last one. I tossed and turned for several hours while my brain tore through the possibilities with reckless abandon. It wasn’t what I needed to think about—if my brain wanted something to analyze it needed to be focused on the job offer that was right in front of me. I had to make a decision about it, but all I could think about was Holly. She was more important than any job offer and if I was planning my future, I wanted her to be a part of it, regardless of where I worked. A piece of my heart belonged to her, and there was no way to get it back; even if our relationship didn’t last.

At least give us a chance, Holly. I know it’s tough, but you mean so much to me—I don’t want to lose you.

Chapter Fourteen

Holly

The next morning

I woke up earlier than normal, and my stomach was queasy. I didn’t even get a chance to check my phone before I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. I stared at myself in the mirror for a couple of minutes while I waited to make sure I wasn’t going to hurl again, and then gargled with some mouthwash to get rid of the taste. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed my bottle of Gatorade, but it tasted foul. My head was foggy from the lack of caffeine, but my days of starting the day with a soda or coffee were over until I gave birth. The Sprite seemed to taste a little better, so I poured a glass and sat down in the living room. I didn’t feel like I could concentrate on anything, much less my classes, but I knew I would have to get ready soon.

I feel like I’m on the verge of tears, but also on the verge of flipping out on the first person I see—ugh.

My Skype conversation with Everette the previous night was brief—I just didn’t know how to talk to him when I had such a huge secret weighing on my conscious. I needed to tell him about the baby, regardless of the reaction he could possibly have to the news. I just had to move past that point and figure out what was the other side of it. I believed he would do what was right for our child, but I had no idea what he would consider right. I didn’t want our relationship to turn into a business transaction, but there was a chance it could—if he didn’t want kids, then he might be content paying child support every month. It certainly wasn’t how I envisioned starting a family—but if it was just me against the world with my baby in my arms, then I would have to accept it.

“I’ll love you regardless.” I put my hand on my stomach. “I just hope your father does too.”