If she needs a Daddy, that’s exactly what she’ll get.
Chapter Fifteen
Ainsley
I’m dwelling on my guilt. The conversation with my mother didn’t go well. I played it off because that’s what I do best, but she’s far from okay with me staying out all weekend without telling her what I had planned. All I had to do was let her know when I was walking out the door, and it would have been fine. She might not have liked it, but she would have known what I was doing. Part of it, at least.
Once again, I’ve turned my guilt into a fantasy. It was the first place my thoughts went when he said we were going back to the bedroom. It’s not supposed to be that way. I should have been excited about the other things we did in his bed. Instead, my emotions are clinging to something else. That feeling I had when I was over his knee for the very first time—being whole, being complete, not being totally broken.
Lawson saw right through the veil. He peeled back the layers until I told him the truth about my fantasies. Now I’m about to live out another one. I’m sitting on Lawson’s bed waiting on him to come through the door and deliver my punishment. I’ll do my best not to make it just about me. I’ll try to be what he needs too—after it’s over.
The minutes pass. They’re stretched out and elongated as I savor the internal torment before the physical storm.
I finally hear his footsteps. I don’t know who he will be when he opens the door, but regardless of the role, he’ll still be Lawson. That’s who I want, no matter what he lets me call him.
“Ready to discuss what you did? Staying out all night? Not telling me where you were going before you left?” He steps into the room with the same intensity he had when he was Principal Brooks.
“Yes…” I blink a couple of times as I look at him. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to call you.”
“There should be a sir after that yes.” He walks to the bed and sit. “Until you tell your daddy how sorry you are.”
I’m immediately hit with a wave of confusion that makes my heart race. Am I hearing things? Did he really say that? I want to ask questions, but I don’t know how to get the words out. I didn’t expect him to be my daddy when he walked through the door. I thought it was off limits, and I was willing to accept that.
“I…” I feel completely tongue-tied when I try to speak.
“Well, what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?” He narrows his eyes and glares at me.
I’ve fantasized about this moment more times than I could count, with no real face to go with it. Just a constant swirl. All of that seems to come into focus. Lawson listened to what I said while he was peeling those layers back. He understands it. He understands me. He’s fully outside of his comfort zone because he wants to give me what I need.
How did I get so lucky to find a man like him?
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” I look down at the floor. “It won’t happen again.”
It rolls off my tongue so easily. I’m supposed to be in trouble right now, but I’m filled with so much exhilaration that it’s hard to keep a straight face.
“When you do something like that, it makes everyone who cares about you worry.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “It’s selfish and it’s unfair. You’re better than that.”
“Yes, sir.” I nod.
Lawson pulls me back into the fantasy before I can escape it. I’m snatched into the headspace I belong in right now. I should’ve been more considerate before I left to spend the weekend in the city. I should’ve been open and honest about it. I shouldn’t have made my mother worry so much. It really was selfish and unfair.
“I’m sure you understand that I have to punish you for what you did.” Lawson sighs.
“I know.” I feel the fantasy close in around me, and the emotions come with it.
“What do you think that is going to be?” He tilts his head slightly.
“I’m going to get a spanking, aren’t I?” I look at him nervously.
“That’s right.” He motions to me. “Stand up.”
“Yes, sir.” I comply with his request.
It doesn’t feel quite as exciting as it did the last time. It feels too real. I didn’t anticipate that when I was setting myself up for another trip across his knee. It’s been emotional every time, but there was desire interlaced with it. I don’t have that same connection with it right now. This feels like actual punishment. It’s what I asked for, but I was in a different headspace then.
“Over my knee.” Lawson guides me into position and pulls up my dress before I even get settled.
There are no sexy remarks about the fact I’m not wearing panties. No further discussion about what is going to happen. He doesn’t trace my ass or tease me at all. The first thing I feel is the sting of his hand.