Going Under (Going Under 1) - Page 33

Her words frightened me because they were neither reassuring nor ominous and I felt like I was going to throw up. “I’ll be there, Princess.”

We went to our next class and Claire was preoccupied. I worried it was because she thinking about how to give me the boot. I replayed our entire interaction at the library in my mind and dissected every touch and each word spoken in an attempt to decipher what her answer would be tonight.

When my remaining classes were finished, I fled to the refuge of my truck. I needed and wanted a cigarette so badly I could feel myself shaking, but I resisted the urge because of Claire, the first positive influence in my life. Because she despised it, it would no longer be a part of who I was because my mind was made up. I wouldn’t stop until I made her mine.

21 Declarations

Claire

I hoped I had made the right choice. I came so close to telling Jessie what my decision was when we were behind that locked door. I couldn’t stand seeing the misery on his face knowing I was the cause. I had asked too much of him already and now I was making him wait until tonight to finally find out if I loved him back or not.

When I arrived for the game, the players were already on the field warming up and my eyes immediately sought Jessie in the number seven jersey. I became mesmerized as I watched him throw to Cooper so I was easily startled when Payton walked up behind me and said, “You know, I think you should punk him tonight. He’s already in love with you, so there’s nothing to be gained by taking this any further besides a waste of your time and energy. Dane’s party is the perfect place for it happen because everyone will be there.”

I thought of his words of love for me and I wanted to run to him as I recalled his plea for me to choose him. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him as I lied to my best friend. “I’ll think about it.”

“If you don’t decide to punk him tonight, maybe you should tell him how much you love him because it is so terribly clear.”

“I wish I could,” I confessed in my daze of watching Jessie, then gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth. I wanted to eat the words, shove them back inside the moment they escaped, but it was too late. The wicked trixter had tricked me into admitting my love for Jessie Boone.

“Good grief, Claire. Did you really think you could fool me? I’m the player that recognizes the game. How could you forget that?

I panicked, trying to decide if I should pretend I was trying to punk her or own the crazy, beautiful love I had for Jessie. I decided to go with my heart. “I didn’t mean to fall for him, Payton. It just sort of happened as I spent time with him and we were so wrong about who he is.”

Payton looked at me like she wasn’t quite sure what to think of me and I told her my plan. “I’m telling him tonight at Dane’s party.”

“Are you sure you want to jump head first into that?” she questioned.

“Payton, he pulled me into the closet in the school library and kissed me until I was senseless. He asked me to choose him over Forbes. He told me he had fallen in love with me.”

“What if he’s playing you to get at Forbes?” she suggested.

“He’s not. I would know if he was.”

* * *

When the team was about to run out onto the field, Forbes began to walk toward me for his traditional good luck kiss and I acted as though I didn’t see him coming. I quickly told Payton to put me up in a shoulder stand to prevent the awkwardness of kissing him in front of Jessie. After I went up, Forbes turned and joined the rest of the team behind the run through sign and I felt a sigh of relief.

As I stood on Payton’s shoulders holding one side of the sign, my eyes found Jessie in the group and he was looking up at me. I mouthed the words, “Good luck,” to him.

He smiled and mouthed the words, “Thank you,” then the team ran through the sign, tearing it to shreds.

East Franklin scored only minutes into the game when Jessie threw for sixty yards to Cooper in the end zone. He did it again in the first quarter, then a third before half-time. He threw a fourth completed pass resulting in a touchdown before the end of the last quarter and Dane made good on every kick, so the game was a shutout of 35-0 against Nortonville.

While Coach gathered the team for the post game talk, Payton and I took the opportunity to hurry to my house to get ready for Danes’ party. I changed into a casual black dress and sandals, then brushed my hair before I braided the front and secured it with a bobby pin above my ear. I fluffed the back of my hair after curling it loosely, then freshened my make-up before spraying myself with my favorite body spray.

Payton whistled at me. “I hope you know CPR because you are going to take Jessie’s breath away.”

I did a spin around for Payton. “Do you really think I look okay?”

She nodded and raised her eyebrows. “I think you look awesome and I know Jessie will, too. Do you want me to drive so you can leave with him and not have your car stuck at Dane’s?”

“That would be so perfect if you don’t mind.”

She looked sad, but happy at the same time. “I don’t mind. I want you to be happy and if it’s Jessie that does that, then I want you to be with him.”

Even if I hadn’t admitted it to myself, I desperately wanted Payton’s approval and I couldn’t have been happier when she gave me her blessing. I hugged her tightly and said, “Thank you, Payton. You’re support means the world to me.”

She returned my embrace and said, “Anything for my Claire Bear. Now, let’s go so you can go get your happily ever after on.”

When we arrived, I was nervous and excited at the same time about the decision I had made. We walked into the foyer and saw kids all over the house dancing to loud music while drinking beer from plastic cups and I knew Mrs. Wickam would have a fit if she knew what was going on in her house right now.

I searched the crowd for Jessie, but couldn’t see him anywhere. I heard my phone alerting me to a new text message and I pulled it out to find a text from Jessie telling me he was out front waiting for me.

After I said goodbye to Payton, I left through the front door. I saw Jessie waiting for me in his truck in front of Dane’s house and I ran and jumped inside with him. “Are you the getaway driver?”

We were parked under the streetlight so I could clearly see the worry on his face and I was eager to put it to rest. “Yeah. I guess I am if you’re wanting to get away from here.”

“I do want to get away from here. Where are you taking me tonight?”

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