“I heard you fighting with Nate.” I looked back towards the door as I pushed it shut.
“Yes, well, this is a complicated process. When you face the ghosts from your past, sometimes they aren’t what you thought they would be. Ever
ything is fine. How was your time with Devlin?” She walked over and put her hands on my shoulders. “Did you finally accept the part of yourself you were trying to hide from?”
“I did.” I nodded quickly. “I don’t know what that means exactly or where that leaves me with Nate, but I don’t regret my time with Devlin.”
“You don’t see it yet, but it is going to bring you closer to both men than you ever imagined.” She smiled and walked over to the tablet. “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? Come by tomorrow and we’ll discuss the next road you need to walk down.”
“I don’t want to wait.” I shook my head back and forth. “I’m ready now.”
“Okay, well, then let’s talk.” She motioned for me to follow her to the living room area of the suite. “So far you’ve met two men that wanted you. They both wanted you enough that they were willing to cross any distance to have a small chance of seeing you.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and smiled. “I’m glad they did.”
“Are you willing to do the same? What lengths would you go to in order to get what you want?” Angelina tilted her head to the side.
“What do you mean?” I felt a confused expression spread across my face.
“You didn’t even know Nate existed before he came back to Bakersfield. You were far too scared to ever consider someone like Devlin. You didn’t just spend every waking moment of your life alone. You had relationships.” Angelina turned her tablet towards me. “One that is rather interesting.”
“Connor?” I shrugged my shoulders. “He asked me out in college. We went out a couple of times, but then it fizzled like every other relationship.”
“Did it?” She tilted her head to the side. “What happened to him?”
“I guess he left school. I mean, he said he had to go home to handle some family business. He was nice enough to break up with me—I guess that says something. Not that we had been going out long enough to call it a relationship.” I stared at his picture and then lifted my eyes to look at Angelina. “What does he have to do with anything now?”
“He needs you.” Angelina put the tablet on the table. “He’s hurting.”
“Hurting? Why?” I wrinkled my lip in confusion.
“He left school because his brother died in a car accident. His brother was the CEO of his family’s company. That responsibility fell to Connor with his brother gone. He’s struggling to keep it together, both in the business world and personally.” Angelina nodded. “When he’s alone at night, he thinks of you, wonders where you are, and looks at your pictures on social media.”
“You’re a serious fucking stalker.” My jaw fell open in shock. “How do you do all this shit?”
“I have my ways.” She smiled and nodded. “You forget that I’ve been working with Nate for a year. All of this was planned long before I came to Bakersfield with him.”
“But—I mean… Connor? He’s a nice guy. I don’t doubt that he could use a friend if he’s dealing with a lot of personal stuff, but what am I supposed to do? Show up on his doorstep and be like—hey, remember me?”
“Yes.” Angelina nodded. “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.”
“He’s going to think I’m crazy!” I shook my head back and forth.
“As crazy as Nate showing up here after all these years? As crazy as Devlin coming through your computer screen to punish you the way you deserved?” She chuckled. “Sometimes a dose of crazy is what makes everything work. It brings resolution to complexities.”
“I can’t do that.” I stared at the floor and slowly shook my head. “My heart aches for Connor, it really does, but I finally have something here. Nate is an amazing man. Devlin was my dose of crazy. Why do I have to go see Connor?”
“Because if you don’t, he’s going to kill himself.” Angelina’s expression soured. “If you don’t get on a plane, you’re going to be reading his obituary. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it’s coming.”
“How do you—you know what, why even ask? You’re not going to tell me.” I glared at her and felt my jaw clench up.
“Here’s his search history.” Angelina leaned forward and tapped her tablet a couple of times before pushing it towards me.
“Oh my god…” I picked up the tablet and my eyes nearly bulged out of my head.
His entire search history was his brother, me, some porn, and painless ways to kill yourself. They went back for months. I felt my heart sinking straight into my stomach. Connor wasn’t someone that I was in love with, but I cared about him. Our dates had been a lot of fun. He took me to an arcade on the first one and the second one ended abruptly when he got a call from home. The next day he told me that he was leaving and I never saw him again. I didn’t try to reach out because I had no idea why he had really left. I stared at the search history and felt my stomach tighten up.
“You’ve known about this and you did nothing? You just waited for me to get to this point so you could send me to him?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “What if he didn’t wait for me to show up? What if he would have killed himself yesterday?”