Mr. Twang: A Fake Relationship Romance

“Right over there.” He pointed to the corner. “Don’t they look happy?”

“They do…” I nodded and stared at the couple he pointed out.

“It might be a cookie cutter song, but just imagine if it was playing right now. Don’t you think they would feel like it was some slice of destiny?” He lifted his drink again and sipped it.

“Maybe.” I turned back towards him. “I don’t know. I just want to feel a connection to what I sing.”

“Hit the big time, then you can sing anything you want. Even Garth Brooks did a rock album to get it out of his system, but he was a superstar first.” Sawyer drained his glass and put it on the bar. “Figure out what you want, but come back with something, or we’re going to have to shake hands and admit that this was a mistake.”

“That’s fair.” I sighed and nodded.

“I’ve gotta head to Texas tomorrow to try and sign a new artist, so you’ve got a few days, like I said. It’s up to you now.” He patted me on the shoulder and started walking towards the door.

After Sawyer left, I took more time to survey the bar. There were a lot of happy couples and some of them did appear to be falling in love. It brought back memories of my last relationship, and that soured my thoughts. I kept drinking as the night wore on, but I focused on the music that people played on the jukebox. It wasn’t music that I liked, but there were a lot of songs about drinking, smoking, and love. Those themes were present in the atmosphere that surrounded me. If I was going to make it work, I had to embrace the culture. I had to get my accent right. I had to become the very incarnation of everything I hated. It had to consume my life.

I can do this. Fuck it. I don’t have a choice, do I?

“Are you ready?” Sawyer walked up to me as soon as I walked into the recording studio.

“I am.” I put the highest level of twang I could in my voice. “I’ve been practicing.”

“Sounds good.” He smiled and nodded.

“How did your trip to Texas go? Did you sign that artist you were after?” I tilted my head to the side inquisitively, continuing to utilize my new accent.

“I did.” His smile got even wider. “She’s going to be the next big thing—well, after you, of course.”

“Of course.” I chuckled. “Because I’m about to set Nashville on fire.”

I walked into the soundproof room and sat down. The first cut wasn’t perfect, but the second one was better. By the fifth take, I had nailed it perfectly. It sounded like a real country song, with every twang necessary to hit the notes like I was George fucking Strait. When I belted out the last line of the song, I looked up to see a look of surprise on Sawyer’s face. The surprise faded, and his jaw dropped. After recovering from the momentary shock, he stood up and clapped. I stood up and walked to the door, pushing it open and before I could even say anything, he was shaking his hands and stumbling over his words.

“That’s so good. Holy shit, Brendan. You killed it! I guarantee you I can get this on the radio.” He walked over to the audio engineer. “Mix the last track and email me a radio-ready copy. I’m getting this in circulation immediately.”

As soon as my new song hit the airwaves, it was like an explosion. The first few tracks we had sent to the radio stations were played late at night, but they never got played during the day. My new song was actually requested. There was interest in my album, which we really hadn’t started. The new song was just meant to be a single, but there was a lot of work to do once interest picked up. I gave up on writing my own songs and just relied on songwriters to produce cookie cutter bullshit. There was no passion in them, but they fit the style of my first song, so I just churned them out as fast as possible. My first royalty check came in, and I was able to stop waiting tables. I lived and breathed country music for the first time in my life.

This may not be what I wanted, but I can’t stop now that I have momentum on my side.

3

Lauren

Accompanying Song:

“Cowboy Casanova” by Carrie Underwood

Three months later

I came to Nashville with the full support of my parents and took the world by storm. They were already calling me Garth Brooks in a dress.

No, not really. It was a total disaster and it was only getting worse.

My parents were skeptical when Sawyer showed up and wanted to sign me to his label. He was a legitimate agent and a legendary producer, but they were still concerned about me moving to Nashville on my own. I had never really considered a future in music, but it was hard to turn down the opportunity. I was being ridiculed at school, teased by everyone who had heard the song on YouTube, and Sawyer offered me a way out. The signing bonus was enough for me to get my own place and start recording music, so I took the opportunity. Not having to see Billy’s smirk every time I went to school was enough motivation to give it a shot.

“I’m really sorry.” Sawyer exhaled sharply and shook his head. “I really thought Shattered Heart was going to be a hit once it hit the airwaves.”

“I don’t understand.” I looked at the surveys he put in front of me. “It was so popular on YouTube. Why don’t people like it?”

“Everyone loves the YouTube version. Hell, there are tons of people still posting the original version your friend recorded. It’s more popular than the version we recorded. I think there was just something gritty and real about the original version of Shattered Heart.” He leaned forward and put his elbows on the edge of his desk. “We’ve got to get something like that in rotation for your second song. What do you have in your notepad that you haven’t showed me?”