“Sure, man.” Gavin nodded.
I laid down a background track with my vocals and guitar while Gavin played drums. I was too hammered to sing by that point, but he was still slamming his drumsticks with perfect precision. I let him do a couple of songs and then fumbled with the controls until I had the songs saved. I quickly emailed them to Sawyer and walked back into the studio. Gavin’s eyes were bloodshot and he looked drunk. If he felt anything like I did, he was well past comfortable. I tried to pick up my guitar and swayed too much, so I just walked over to my stool and sat down. My head was spinning so much that I could hardly see straight and it only seemed to get worse as the minutes passed.
“Fucking hell, man.” I felt my words slurring as they passed across my lips. “I haven’t been this drunk since I left Chicago.”
“I thought this town invented getting fucked up. All the country legends sing about drinking and fucking.” He chuckled and leaned against his drums.
“Yeah, I guess they just built up a tolerance at the expense of their liver.” I laughed and smiled.
“We’ve got the drinking down, so what about the fucking?
I read something about a girl you’re seeing? Is it serious?” Gavin tilted his head to the side.
“Lauren.” I nodded quickly. “Yeah, we’re dating.”
“Is that wise? I mean—that’s what broke up the band in Chicago. I thought you were coming down here to start over on your own without any of that shit.” He pushed back from the drum set and swayed on his stool.
“Yeah, I guess.” I nodded. “Look, you can’t tell anyone this, but I’m just using her to help hype up my album.”
“Oh, fuck. Really?” He blinked in surprise.
“Yeah, man. You know what went down before. You think I’d get serious with someone again?” I chuckled and shrugged. “My relationship with Lauren is as fake as this accent.”
It was a lie—well, the part about Lauren was. I knew the reality, even in my drunken state, but Gavin was there for what happened in Chicago. He saw everything explode when things went south. If he was going to be my drummer, the instant my relationship with Lauren ended it would give him flashbacks. It wasn’t the best judgment call, but my drunken brain convinced me that telling him Sawyer’s plan would help when that time came.
I had no idea how I was going to handle things when Sawyer gave the word for us to publicly break up, but I felt like I needed to inspire some degree of confidence in Gavin. He had been through it before, and he had suffered as well. He was a victim of the resonating ruination the end of the relationship caused. The fact he turned down my former bass player’s offer to join up with his band meant he was loyal to me. That meant a lot to me. The fact he came to Nashville meant even more.
“All right, I think this is over. We need to get a cab. Do you want to crash at my place?” I looked over at Gavin and saw that his eyes were halfway closed.
“Yeah, that sounds good.” He nodded.
11
Lauren
Accompanying Song:
“Cowboy Take Me Away” by Dixie Chicks
My ass was stinging when I went to bed after saying goodbye to Brendan. I never really pictured a spanking being something that would get me excited. The pain didn’t necessarily turn me on, but having his hands on my body was enough to light a fire that burned fiercer than the glow he left on the surface of my ass with his well-placed snacks. I couldn’t believe I had actually asked him to come back to my apartment and spank me. Even more surprising was the fact that I didn’t freak out when he suggested that my panties should come down. I was in the midst of a sexual awakening that I didn’t quite understand, but everything inside me was screaming to let go and just give in to what I wanted more than anything else in the world.
How can a man that infuriated me so much suddenly become the only thing I can think about?
After he was gone, I stripped naked and walked into my bedroom. I had to quell the desire inside me and the only way to do that was with self-pleasure since I had managed to resist giving into Brendan. I didn’t masturbate very often. My parents didn’t believe in closed doors and I always had a roommate at college. I had been so busy since I came to Nashville that it wasn’t something that took center stage, even after writing His Stetson Hat. There was no resisting it after Brendan was gone. I climbed into bed with my legs spread wide and bent at the knees. My hand moved down my abdomen until my finger was pressed against my clit. It quickly turned into a hard knot and a touch sent currents of pleasure surging through my veins.
I felt how hard he was. He would be between my legs right now if I had a little more courage.
I moved my finger in a circle, sliding the hood away from my clit so I could stimulate the tight bundle of nerves. The fingers on my other hand explored my wetness, plunging into my pussy until I could feel my hymen against my fingertip. I was almost certain Brendan would be the one to shatter it, but I just wasn’t ready. He turned me on and I was falling for him, but there was still some lingering concern over the way he treated me when we first started our charade. I was at the point of forgiveness, but I needed to know it was real before I gave myself to him completely. Regardless of what happened, once I did that, he would always be my first. It would bind us together and form a connection that lasted a lifetime.
It has to be more than just desire. I can’t let my body drive me into his arms before I’m ready.
One finger swirled around my clit while I penetrated myself with another. I felt pressure building up inside me quickly. The feeling of his embrace, the heat of his kiss, and the sound of my ass being spanked all collided together in my memories as the pressure intensified. My legs started to shake and then the pressure released like a balloon being popped inside me. The pleasure rushed through my veins. It made every muscle tense up for a moment before they relaxed, and I shuddered. I could feel my pussy spasming on the finger that was inside it, and my hips pushed against the penetration as I climaxed. When the pleasure finally faded, my head was spinning, and I felt warm inside. My head sank back into the pillow and I closed my eyes, quickly falling to sleep with Brendan still on my mind.
One week later
Things got busy as the release date for our albums approached. Sawyer had moved things around so that they were scheduled to launch on the same day. Initially, Brendan’s album was supposed to come out first, but Sawyer believed the impact would be stronger if they came out together. It was a lot easier to do it in the digital age when most of the purchases would be online instead of in a store. The finishing touches for both albums were in place,
and Sawyer was working on assembling bands for both of us. We would have several months before we actually went on tour, which gave us time to work on the duet, get some tracks down for our second albums, and practice with our bands for the live shows. The tours would pull us apart, whether we were officially split or not. We were both scheduled to open for more established country music acts, although Sawyer was hopeful that we would each have our own tour within a couple of years.