Blaze & Bind (Surrender to Them 10)

There was definitely no way that Gerard could have known that Liam was kissing me before he arrived. We stopped as soon as we heard the door—and I pushed him away before that. What would I have done if Gerard hadn’t appeared at the door? I wasn’t sure. Liam’s kiss left me shocked, with confusion still boiling over inside me. I grabbed my beer and sipped it nervously as Liam walked to Gerard’s bedroom. Gerard closed the door, and I could hear them talking, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was pretty sure I heard Billy’s name a couple of times, but the rest of it was too hard to make out. A few minutes later, Liam walked back down the hallway, but he didn’t make eye contact with me as he headed to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Gerard appeared in the hallway a few seconds later, and it looked like the weight of the world was on his brow, but he smiled when he entered the living room—it didn’t look authentic. It seemed forced.

“I trust that you’re finding the apartment to your liking?” He tilted his head as he sat down across from me.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice.” I nodded quickly. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about—work stuff.” Gerard waved off my concern.

“Just something we’re dealing with.” Liam walked into the room and handed Gerard a beer. “We’ve got it under control.”

“Okay…” I felt a little bit apprehensive about it, even though I had no idea what the problem was.

There’s definitely something they aren’t telling me.

I sat in the living room talking to Gerard and Liam for a couple of hours. They told me about their job, some of the nuances that they dealt with on a daily basis and a few stories about some of their more exciting calls. They both seemed to enjoy being firefighters, even if it was a pretty dangerous job. I still couldn’t picture Liam suiting up and rushing into a burning building—but he was a lot different than I remembered, and I honestly didn’t know him very well outside of what my brother told me. I knew Gerard a little better, or at least I wanted to believe I did consider that he was the guy who took my virginity. Truthfully, I thought I knew him well enough to trust that what we had was developing into something real, but I was wrong. Maybe I didn’t know him very well either. Either way, that was in the past. He had his chance, and while the apology was a nice start, it wasn’t going to repair everything. I could be civil—even that was more than he deserved after what he did.

“Alright guys, it’s getting late. I guess I’m heading to bed.” I stretched out my arms and yawned.

“I’m not too far behind.” Gerard nodded and finished the beer in his hand.

“I can’t go to bed until you two leave my bedroom.” Liam chuckled and motioned to the couch.

We said goodnight, and I headed to my room. Once the door was closed and I was in bed, my thoughts immediately returned to the kiss I shared with Liam. I was scared of trusting anyone after what Gerard did—especially someone who moved that fast. The crush I used to have on Liam was toying with my thoughts and making me believe it could be more, but that wasn’t real. I was more responsible than that. Gerard taught me a lesson that I hadn’t been able to forget. I wasn’t sure I would ever be that naive and trusting again. Liam was still hot-as-sin, and his lips set me on fire, but that was a physical need—a body that had felt real pleasure once and craved it again, even if it turned out to be the only thing Gerard wanted. I couldn’t succumb to that. I would just end up with a wound that crushed another piece of my heart, because even if I didn’t love Gerard when I slept with him—I believed that was the direction our relationship was headed.

I’m not going that far with anyone again unless I’m sure they want more than one night of passion.

6

Liam

“We’ve got to find a way to come up with some money.” I looked over at Gerard once Rachel closed the door to her bedroom.

“Yeah.” Gerard exhaled sharply. “It isn’t our fucking problem, but it’s going to be if we don’t.”

Gerard told me about his visit to the club Robert Townsend owned. Gerard didn’t see the man himself, but he was able to talk to one of the top guys in the organization. Billy had been taking out small loans and paying them back for well over a year, so when he asked for a larger loan, they believed he was good for it. It had been two months since he walked out of Robert Townsend’s club with twenty-five thousand dollars—and that loan was way overdue. I had no idea what Billy spent the money on. I assumed he gambled it away. Considering he struggled to pay his share of the rent and utilities without his father’s help, he had no business with that kind of money.

Everyone knew who Robert Townsend was—what he was capable of. I rubbed shoulders with law enforcement all the time in my job, and that was one name that would make a cop’s hand tremble. Robert Townsend was untouchable. On the surface, he was a loan shark that always had money to lend, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Money was power, and he understood how to use the former to obtain the latter. Billy’s loan was nothing to him, but it was the principle of the issue. If someone like Billy could steal from him without repercussion, then that made him look weak—and Robert Townsend was not going to look weak. The people associated with Billy were fine as collateral damage—and family definitely wasn’t off limits.

“Do you think we should tell Rachel? She has a right to know…” I looked over at Gerard.

“We probably should, but I really don’t want to burden her with it.” Gerard sighed. “Let’s give it a few days and see what we can come up with first.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “But that’s it—if we can’t figure something out, we need to let her know. I mean, fuck—her father could be in danger too.”

“I know.” Gerard sighed again. “I fucking know how bad this is…”

We had another beer before Gerard went to bed, and I turned off the lights, so I could get some sleep. Usually, I got plenty of rest when I was on my forty-eight-hour break between shifts, so I was definitely ready for bed. Unfortunately, my brain had other ideas. It kept replaying the kiss I shared with Rachel—her deliciously pouty lips. I shouldn’t have kissed her—I just couldn’t help myself. I had no idea what came over me. That was how I used to be, but I had been a different person after I got my heart broke. Having what I believed was real love changed my perspective—or maybe I was just blinded by the way the relationship ended. Perhaps I hadn’t changed at all, and the turmoil just masked the man I used to be.

I felt something else entirely with Rachel—maybe it was because I knew she had a crush on me at one time. Maybe that just made it seem like we had some sort of connection. Not only was she Billy’s little sister—she used to date Gerard. That made her more than off limits—she was absolutely taboo. Yet there was a part of me that didn’t care—a part of me that wanted to taste her lips again—to feel her body against mine as my hand explored every inch of her body. I wondered if she would have stopped me if Gerard hadn’t arrived when he did. Her lips said no, but her body was reacting to my touch—her eyes begged for more. She wanted to be in my arms—but maybe there was a part of her that was confused by it as well.

No matter how I feel, or what could happen between us, it’s not going to matter if we don’t figure out this situation with Robert Townsend.

The next day

“Where did Rachel go? I swear I heard her leave earlier.” Gerard walked into the kitchen and immediately poured a cup of coffee.

“She went for a run.” I shrugged and lifted my coffee cup to my lips. “I guess she is a little more health conscious than her brother—she even turned down bacon.”

“Turned down bacon? Oh god—don’t tell me she’s become a vegan.” Gerard raised an eyebrow.