“My wording was poor.” He sighed, and his eyes locked on mine. “It did mean something—and it’s not just because you’re beautiful. I really do like you.”
“I have a few trust issues right now.” I shook my head back and forth.
“At least trust in this…” Liam stepped forward and pulled me into his arms.
I wanted to pull away, but my head was spinning with everything that Liam told me. I thought he was going to kiss me, but all he did was hug me. His arms were comfortable—I felt safe there. I was just scared to trust him. I believed Gerard once—apparently, that was a mistake. But in the midst of everything, the chaos, and the confusion, other thoughts start to slip into my head. Gerard had to care—in some regard at least. If he didn’t, he could have just packed up and left. So could Liam. They were trying to fix the problem Billy created—they were trying to protect me. I had spent my entire life trying to be self-reliant, but all the self-reliance in the world wasn’t going to pay Billy’s debt. That was a problem I couldn’t solve. I finally leaned back from the hug and stared into his eyes for a moment. I knew he was going to kiss me—and I wanted him too—despite every voice in my head warning me against it.
The first kiss I shared with Liam set me on fire, and the second one might as well have been a headfirst charge into an inferno. I melted into his embrace until our bodies were pressed together. His hands traveled down my back as his lips crushed mine, and then he started squeezing my ass through my jeans. He had big, powerful hands—and having them on my body felt amazing, even if my clothes served as a barrier. His tongue swirled against mine, and I felt his hand move up—it slid underneath my shirt until he was squeezing my right breast through my bra. His other hand moved from my ass to the front of my jeans—playing with my button the way he did the previous night. I didn’t stop him—I let him unbutton the front and push his hand inside the waistband. God, his touch was so amazing on my bare skin. I wanted him—but I couldn’t. I was scared. I started having flashbacks to how I felt when Gerard devoured my innocence and never picked up the phone. I pulled away from Liam’s embrace.
“I’m so sorry.” I ran to my bedroom and closed the door.
“Rachel, did I do something wrong?” Liam was at my door, and he started lightly knocking.
“No, it’s not you—I promise.” I sighed and dropped face first into my pillow. “It’s me. It’s definitely me.”
I heard Liam’s footsteps as he walked away. My head was spinning, and my emotions were in turmoil. Why did Liam’s touch make me think of Gerard? Why couldn’t I just forget what Gerard did and go after Liam if I wanted him? I didn’t owe Gerard anything—I didn’t even owe him an explanation. He had his chance. I certainly didn’t care if Liam was his best friend, or if Gerard wanted to get back together with me. Yet there I was, face down on my pillow, wearing those same emotions on my s
leeve—just like I was when I realized that Gerard had no intentions of calling me again. Yet, he didn’t back down when he realized I could be in danger. He didn’t run. He was trying to fix things. It was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to move forward with Liam—or anyone for that matter—without talking to Gerard first. I hoped that I would find closure when I moved in, and I began to understand that I needed it more than I initially realized. There was no other way to move past what he had done.
Later that night
“Hello, gorgeous.” I heard a voice, and I turned to see Gerard, but it wasn’t really him—he was dressed in the same clothes he was wearing the night of our third date.
“I’m dreaming.” I blinked and tried to force myself to wake up.
“Maybe you are.” Another voice—it was Liam.
“Well, I don’t normally walk on clouds.” I looked down at my feet. “So, I’m definitely dreaming.”
“That means you’re in control, doesn’t it?” Gerard smiled and walked closer. “Nothing that happens here is real.”
“Which means you can do anything you want.” Liam walked up behind me, and I felt the heat of his breath on my neck.
“Anything…” Gerard lifted his hand and tilted my chin until our eyes were locked together. “You can tell me to go away or kiss me—whatever you want.”
“Um…” I swallowed hard.
Even in my dreams, he has the most mesmerizing eyes.
“I heard that.” Gerard grinned.
Fuck—apparently, he’s a mind-reader in my dreams.
“We both are.” Liam chuckled into my ear. “In fact, all you have to do is think about something—and it’s going to happen.”
My mind betrayed me—I thought about the three of us in bed together—and then we were. It was like blinking—one second, we were in the clouds, and the next we were naked on a mattress. Gerard’s cock was thick and throbbing—I remembered how good it felt. Remembering was like another blink—because then he was inside me. His thrusts were furious and made my whole body shake. Liam watched for a moment, but when I thought about the kiss we shared earlier that night, his lips were on mine. Gerard kept thrusting into me, perfect thrusts that made my body ache for the next one while Liam ravaged my mouth. I felt my pussy start to spasm—I was going to come. I couldn’t stop it. My body shook as the waves of bliss coursed through my veins.
“Oh fuck.” I sat up in my bed and opened my eyes.
Damn, that was a really intense dream.
It might have been a dream, but it wasn’t just in my head—not entirely. When I shifted my weight on the bed, I felt a wetness between my legs. I slid my hand down to find that my panties were soaked, and my pussy was tender. I really had orgasmed. That part was real. I shifted to the edge of the bed and took off my panties. My pussy spasmed when the wet fabric was pulled away, and I realized that while I had managed to come while I was sleeping, it wasn’t a real orgasm—my body wanted more. There was no way I was going to be able to go back to sleep without finishing what started in my dreams. I dropped back on the mattress and started rubbing my clit. It was a lot more sensitive than usual. My eyes closed, and I returned to the fantasy in my head—Liam and Gerard. That was all I could think about. I moved my finger against my clit until I felt the pressure building inside me.
“Yes—harder.” I moaned as my imagination ran wild.
I started to orgasm—it was a real one—one that wasn’t trapped in the haze of a dream. My moans got louder, much louder than they should have been considering that I had roommates. I rubbed my clit with quick circles until the pressure was sending currents of bliss through my veins. It felt so good that I didn’t want it to end, but it subsided after a quick burst of pleasure. It definitely wasn’t as good as the one I had with Gerard the night we were together, but he was immediately on my thoughts once the afterglow set in. Even after two years, I could still remember what he felt like—how good it felt to have his cock inside me. But—as good as it was, the man attached to it wasn’t. Maybe he had changed—perhaps he hadn’t—but I needed closure. I wasn’t going to get that by living out the fantasy in my head, no matter how much it turned me on.
10