Blaze & Bind (Surrender to Them 10)

“What?” My eyes flew open, and I saw the light—it was morning—and the men from my dream were literally standing in the living room. “Oh my god!”

I hopped off the couch—my panties were wet. I could tell by the confused look on their faces that I wasn’t just saying those words in my dreams. My brother used to say that I talked all the time in my sleep—I hoped it was nonsensical babble and not the exact phrases I used. I was scared to make that assumption. My whole body blushed in embarrassment, and when I got to my bedroom, I locked the door and sank to the floor. My panties were soaked. So much so that my lust had smeared to my thighs—and if what I could see was any indication, I had likely left a wet spot right where I was laying on the couch. I could have just died of embarrassment right there on the spot and gladly taken my place in the afterlife. That seemed like a better option than having to face either of them knowing that they saw me enjoying my dream—and possibly heard the words I said.

I’m just going to lock my door and never come out. Yep. That’s precisely what I’m going to do.

“Rachel.” It was Gerard’s voice, followed by a light knock. “Can I come in?”

“No, please go away!” My words were hurried.

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Everyone has wet dreams…” I could hear a hint of laughter in his voice—which didn’t make me feel any better.

Great, that confirms it. I have the dream-brain of a horny teenage girl and apparently, I even talk about it in my sleep.

I wanted to stay locked in my room until they were gone—then I just wanted to move out. I didn’t want to face them again. How could I? If they heard me say their names—oh god. That was even worse. Liam was the next one to try and coax me out of my room, but he was greeted with the same quick response and a request to leave me alone. He didn’t listen, of course, but I still tried. Eventually, he walked away, and I got some time just to let my thoughts go crazy. They couldn’t even begin to comprehend how embarrassed I felt. I was beyond humiliated. It felt like my whole body was still blushing, and my face was so red that I thought I was just going to burst into tears or spontaneously combust—I wasn’t sure which was going to come first. An hour passed, and then there was another light knock at my door, and I heard Liam’s voice.

“Rachel, I made breakfast. You don’t have to come out of your room, but you should at least eat something. I can leave it at the door and walk away if that would make you feel better…” A sigh followed Liam’s words.

There’s really no way that I can stay in her forever, and truthfully, I’d rather talk to Liam than Gerard right now anyway.

“You—you can come in.” I unlocked the door and scooted away from it.

“Are you sure?” Liam cracked the door peered through it.

“Yes, it’s okay.” I pulled my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around the front of my legs.

“Here, I made sure that the bacon didn’t get anywhere near your plate.” He smiled as he came in, and then he sat down on the floor across from me.

“Thank you—I’m just not sure I have much of an appetite.” I took the plate and put it down beside me.

“It’s really okay—neither one of us are upset.” Liam tilted his head to the side. “Actually, I’m kind of honored that you dream about me—especially if it’s a dirty dream.”

“That just makes it worse!” My face tensed up.

“Sorry.” He tried to suppress a smile, but it still formed on the edge of his lips. “Is that something you dream about often—two guys?”

“No!” I shook my head back and forth rapidly. “I’ve never—well, not before I moved in here!”

“Gerard and I have done that before.” He swallowed and looked down at the floor. “Shared a girl…”

“What?” I blinked in surprise.

“Some girls are into that sort of thing.” He shrugged. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of—if that’s your fantasy.”

“It’s not my fantasy.” I shook my head back and forth again. “It’s just—my fucked-up brain trying to make sense of everything.”

“You’re dealing with a lot of stress right now. Hell, we all are. This shouldn’t be something that you agonize over.” He sighed and reached out to take my hand, which I reluctantly released from the vice-like grip I had on my legs.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” I nodded in agreement.

“Seriously, I get that you’re conflicted. It might have been easier for the two of us had we met without your past with Gerard hanging over us…” He sighed again.

“That’s just it—I don’t want that to hang over me. I got over what he did. It’s not something I was ever going to forget, but it wasn’t supposed to haunt me forever.” I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt a tear trying to form.

“Then don’t let it…” His words trailed off. “Own it.”

“Own it?” I opened my eyes and looked at him in confusion.

“It doesn’t have to be so fucking complicated. If you want us both, then just say it.” Liam’s lips formed a warm smile. “Let’s just see where it goes.”