Maidenhead

Jen had hair. Charlene had hair.

‘It’s brown?’

The voice knew. Static was constant, electric.

‘And when did you first start menstruating, Myra?’

I was flinching inside. Dr. Bernhard said that girls had to know about avoiding pregnancy. He said that we would do an internal only if I was not a virgin.

‘Eleven,’ I said.

‘Oooh, baby. That’s early.’

It was Elijah. I heard his accent. He was trying to hide it.

‘You got breasts that early as well, little girl?’

My breath was going unnaturally fast. I had to tell Dr. Bernhard that I was a virgin. If I could have lied I would have lied. I would have washed my virginity away in a flood.

‘What size brassiere do you wear?’

I heard laughing in the ba

ckground.

‘34C.’

‘You’re not still a virgin, are you?’ His voice got clearer through the buzzing. ‘Yeah, you’re not a virgin. She’s not a virgin. I told you. That’s hot as fuck.’

He was talking to me and to someone else. I remembered that woman’s slap. I was going to hang up.

‘What did it feel like to have a cock inside you?’

The phone was a weapon.

‘Come on, did it hurt the first time?’

My kneecaps were touching. I wanted to scream.

‘Yeah, it hurt a lot,’ I said.

A bat-screech laugh came from somewhere behind him.

‘She’s lying,’ I heard.

‘Nah, she’s not lying. She’s finally fucked a boy.’

I was going to hang up. I was going to hang up.

‘So you’re not a frigid little bitch anymore?’

I threw the phone down on the floor hard enough to break. I cupped my hand between my legs.

Telling myself not to be scared didn’t work.

GAYL: Oh boy. Oh yeah. She likes the sexual attention.

LEE: Attention? Are you crazy? That’s not attention – that’s harassment!