Maidenhead

The bathroom went dark. I was floating, my arms and legs full of needles. I dissolved to the floor. The flute rattled there.

‘Elijah,’ I whispered, feeling for his feet. ‘Turn on the light.’

‘Shh, I’m right here.’

‘Turn on the light!’

I heard a small bell, a ping. My necklace had pinged. It was gone, in the hallway.

‘Please! Turn it on!’

Something bad was going to happen. I felt his hands on my head. How’d he see where I was? I couldn’t see. I held on to his wrist and he lifted me up. Then Elijah hugged me.

‘We don’t need the light,’ he said.

We were shadows touching. I wanted it to last. I closed my eyes, putting darkness on top of darkness, and breathed our smells being mixed together.

I took a picture like that of the two of us together, locked in the bathroom, locked in this hotel so that I would always smell this: rosehip, caramel, the fountain of piss.

We were encased, intertwined in silence for a while.

§

‘Dad, Jeff, this is Lee.’

Jeff stared at Lee like she was trapped behind glass. She wore the same fuzzy red sweater as when I first met her. My dad still thought that Jen and Charlene were my friends. He had on jeans and a button-down. He wasn’t saying anything.

‘Dad ... ’

‘I’m Myra’s father. Neil. Call me Neil. Sorry. Please.’

Lee looked my father in the eyes. ‘It’s really great to meet you, Neil.’

‘Yes, yes, you too. So what do you do, Lee? Myra hasn’t told me anything about you.’

‘I’m in between jobs,’ Lee said, totally at ease. ‘But I’d like to be an editor one day. I work with Aaron too.’

My father glanced at me.

‘Uh, Aaron is Jeremy Copter’s brother. Jeremy from my school. He’s friends with Jen and Charlene and those guys. We hang out sometimes.’

‘Oh. Okay,’ my father said. He seemed disoriented.

The doorbell rang. Jeff ran for the door and my father left us to pay the pizza delivery guy. The table was dirty. It hadn’t been wiped in a week.

‘Your father seems nice,’ Lee said. ‘Concerned.’

‘He wasn’t always. It’s changing. I mean, since my mom left

.’

Jeff brought the pizza to the table, holding it high in the air. My dad offered Lee a glass of wine. ‘You’re of age, I take it?’

‘I’m okay,’ Lee smiled.

‘I’ll have a glass,’ I said. I felt embarrassed by my father and Lee talking to each other.

My father visited our liquor cabinet in the living room and returned with a bottle and three fancy glasses – the full-bowled ones with the really long stems.