Maidenhead

Gayl started hacking. Elijah stirred and pulled me in close.

‘She’s having some emotional issues,’ Elijah said, breathing in my neck. ‘Go back to sleep. The woman is confused.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘She’s not your age, Myra.’

‘So?’

‘She wants a baby.’

‘Oh.’

Elijah laughed. ‘But you’re all these dark bitches until fifty or sixty.’

I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Elijah strapped me in with his arms and tried to stop me from shaking. He was shaking too. I didn’t know what to do. The sheets were damp. Gayl’s retching and hacking went away. Elijah rubbed my cheek with the cracked tips of his fingers.

I heard a whimper.

‘I’m going to check on her.’ Elijah rolled away from me. I got cold. After a few seconds I got up out of the bed. Gayl was on the floor in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet. I touched her shoulder.

‘Are you okay?’

Tiny hairs were stuck to her forehead with sweat. Her eyes were so heavy that she only looked at me through half of them. They were red-flecked.

‘Get yourself out of here,’ she said. ‘Leave me alone. You should listen to him.’

‘Do you need water?’

Gayl laughed and hacked. ‘I just got this fucking annoying problem. Did you hear me? Get the fuck out.’

I left her and went back into the bed with Elijah. I lifted up his arm, hid myself under there. ‘When you and I make love, it’s going to be big,’ Elijah whispered.

‘What about Gayl?’ I asked. Her sweat and sickness and red eyes in there. ‘Do you have big sex with her?’

‘She can’t do it anymore.’ Elijah held me even tighter.

My heart flipped. ‘What’s wrong with her? Why is she so sick in there?’

‘Emotional problem, I said.’

Lee would say I was in over my head, that I would have to figure out what my needs were in all this.

‘But maybe we should take her to a hospital. She’s really really sick.’

Elijah pushed me over to the side of the bed. He sucked his teeth. ‘She’s got a woman problem. Go tell your daddy.’

‘What?’

Gayl started retching again.

‘Get out of here, all right? Leave us alone. Can’t you hear her? She wants you to leave!’

Elijah closed his eyes. The bathroom door clicked. Both of them had told me to leave.

‘What did I do?’ I asked. ‘Fuck, what’d I just do?’

Elijah didn’t open his eyes. ‘Don’t make me get up,’ he said.