Little Cat

There on the screen were my thighs, all that hair … John came over and kneeled on the ground. I wanted to slam my legs shut and put my hands over each other. I turned my head to the side and held hard.

‘Open your eyes.’

Slowly, squinting, I looked at the screen. John’s thick fingers moved my slippery hand. He was trying to spread me. The whole screen was moving with red and pink dots.

‘See it? You’ve got such a beautiful wet pussy, Mira.’

I strained my eyes. A beautiful pussy? I wanted to hurl like a brick through the screen!

‘I want to show you how it looks.’

No! I’ll never get used to what that looks like.

I was holding his fingers right where they were sliding. I couldn’t help looking down. My vagina stuck onto the fingers of a man.

‘Your pretty wet pussy.’

There was foam on John’s hand. I looked up at the screen. There was something about all the skin, pink and stretched – it looked like a bat hanging upside down.

Quickly, John leaned in and placed his head between my thighs. He stuck his tongue deep up in me and started really frenching me there. I watched the back of his head on the screen: I felt him pushing in, licking me all around the hole. The muscles of his lips were curling inside me. I couldn’t stay still. He was sucking all my wetness. It was making me sweat.

‘Stop, stop … ’ I heard myself moaning.

John spread my legs wider, then he stopped and pulled away. He looked back at the screen.

‘Don’t you see how sexy that is?’

Still watching the screen, John pushed his finger up me. I was so wet that his finger disappeared. He was holding my thighs, making my lips flare. Another finger went in. Then there were three. It wasn’t going to stop. This was never going to stop. Heat rose

between my shoulder blades, two red-hot rods. I stared at the screen. All of his fingers were pushing inside me. I bucked my hips up into his thrusting. It was never going to stop. It was never going to stop.

‘That’s it, Mira, watch yourself fuck.’The hips of me fucking. I couldn’t stop fucking! I couldn’t stop moving in time to his jabs. I felt more, I felt more, god, just one second more filled up on his fucking, all of me there …

‘Look at you, baby. Look at yourself.’

I stared at my pussy, his hand was inside it, stretching me naked, fucking me harder. I watched myself shaking, my pretty wet pussy, his thick fingers jabbing so hard I was huge.

‘God!’ I screamed, and sucked in. I felt the great fist.

Shuddering, I was shuddering.

I imaged that she was the mother and I was the daughter, with all those eyes on us, calling our names. We both wore red dresses with white around the edges. I licked her breasts. She stroked my head. She was the mother and I was the daughter. Her arms wrapped around me.

‘Suck her, Mira, suck her!’

We got down on the floor. I was lying on my back. Adi was above me, shaking her hips. She was spreading herself open under her dress and I saw for a second a wheel at my eyes. It was a bright red circle that was rusted inside: that was her pussy. It was nothing like mine.

Adi told me she never wanted to have children. Just after I thought she maybe actually had children. But maybe she was lying. Or maybe Nadia had lied. I didn’t believe it when Adi told me she was thirty-one. She was doing all this stuff at thirty-one? I raised my arms. I held on to her waist. I wanted her to come down to sit on my face and shut up my thinking. Fuck, I didn’t believe it, thirty-one! Her cunt was a wheel spinning out from her centre. I wanted to stick my tongue through the spokes.

But Adi just kept hovering over my mouth, dipping down for a second, then shaking up.

‘Sit on her face, Adi! Squash Mira’s face!’

The needs of old men and lights circling above us. It tasted like crying inside my mouth.

Adi’s back-and-forth ass, her back-and-forth hips. She finally split open, sank hard on me there. A cunt full of pieces was stuck in my mouth. I just wanted to keep doing it, I wanted to take the weird pain from her there, suck it all dry so she couldn’t wail. I wanted her to know that she still felt good. We were showing a roomful of men what sex really was.

Sex is the animals licking and cleaning, sister and sister in front of a crowd, making each other come, tears sliding down their throats, going and humping and groaning from their guts: This is love! It doesn’t matter how we got it!