He breathed in my ear, ‘You’re the next. You’re the next.’
I got hotter and wetter. Next, you’re the next. I wanted to reach out and spread it, spread my ass wide, but my hands were locked tight. Next, you’re the next.
I thought right then that he was going to be my husband and I was going to be his wife. I’d be a good wife, a great wife, a hot Jewish wife! I’d be the woman he’d been waiting for forever. The one he’d come home to every single day! I’d love him at home and suck him at home, bathe him and feed him and fill him at home …
Gio stuck his tongue in my ear. ‘Mira, Mira, you’re the next.’
I thought he was in love with me. We were in love. He’s in love, he’s in love and I’m in love too!
But it was only for a second, both of us like that.
Love is so strange it can hardly bear more. It’s a nightmare vine, a plant with a face, wood with the veins ripping through, squirting come. Love is one second inside these dark folds.
‘Fuck me, please fuck me.’ I want your come!
‘Mira, you’ve got a hungry little pussy.’
I wanted to be like Adi when she was dancing.
‘Mira, little pussy, little cub, little whore.’
I wanted to be the next whore that he saved. I would give up my money. I would give up my life and shove it in the ground.
We were struggling and humping. My fingers stretched out. Gio turned me around by the chin. He pushed his tongue in and out of my mouth. I was a sponge. I’d take anything from him. I thought I was going to come in a second, just from us kissing, just from the wind, just from my hips banging into the car. Clenching my cunt, I squeezed and let go. The rushing, the fucking, my ass got all split. My legs were all locked. The sides of the road extended forever. Then his cock was inside me. His cock pushed so hard. His cock went up through my ass like a rock. There was nothing between us. This was how I loved. Hot on his stone, oiling it down, I was holding it inside me, squeezing it inside me. My ass loved his cock. I wasn’t letting him go, he was fucking me harder so I could take more. His cock pushed in behind me all the way to my clit and my clit flowered open, a bulb from inside. I choked, I came, I heard it in my throat, his tongue through my lips, and I came and I came! His pulsing fat dick pushed the come into me.
God, wait, don’t stop!
Gio’s cock left me.
I collapsed inside the car. I was wet on the seat. I was going to cry. I wanted to cry. I wanted more! I wanted him back. I’d wanted him from the first time I saw him: eyes like a hunter’s, eyebrows all in one line. I wanted to go back to right where we just were, where my ass was so strong that I was showing it off. As strong as him, I was as strong as him and I wanted to do it again and again, get stronger than him, zap him and kill him just like a leech sucking blood from the bone. I hid my eye in my shoulder to stop myself from crying. A hard pain shot through my body and lodged itself inside me.
Gio got back into the car carrying a small beanbag pillow from the trunk. He wedged the thing between my face and the window. He said, ‘Sleep for a bit now. Go back to sleep.’
I didn’t want to be asleep again. The feeling of fucking was too strong inside me, but when I closed my eyes for a second, the lids stuck together. The next thing I heard was Gio saying my name.
He stood outside the car. I was holding my stomach. I thought I was bleeding. I shoved both my hands down there: thick, fuck, I got it.
‘Rise and shine,’ Gio said.
We were at the bottom of a driveway that curled up a small hill. Gio’s palm was in front of my face. He was holding the handkerchief that he’d pushed to his face in the car. It was filled with little cream-coloured pills. It almost looked like they were homemade. White dust was coming off them.
‘Take one.’
‘What is it?’
‘Take it.’
‘I got my period.’
‘For that.’
‘Is it good?’
Gio nodded. I didn’t move.
He took one of the pills and wedged his fingers between my lips. I opened my mouth and it fell on my tongue. It tasted mouldy and came apart fast. I just wanted to run and get to a bathroom, but Gio was staring between my legs. Blotches of brown and bright red dyed the creases of the white dress. My gut felt like it was being scalped.
‘I’ve got to go clean up,’ I said. My period always started really strong, blood all over my legs for a day.