‘Rahab was a harlot, as they called her, a woman of the night – a totally great whore in other words, totally impure – who took these spies in, Jewish spies, and she hid them in bundles of flax on her roof when the enemy was looking for them all over the village. After the enemy left, the Jewish spies marked Rahab’s house with a red string, they made her a Jew, in fact, so that when their army came in the next day to loot and pillage and kill, Rahab and her house were saved. “Don’t touch the righteous whore’s house,” said the Jewish spies. “She collaborated with us.”’
Michael started to shake. I got up from the floor and sat beside him. I put my arm around him. I closed his robe and gave him a puff of his cigarette.
‘All religion is a total mind-fuck manipulation, Mira, but I think you’re a woman of faith, I really do.’
Michael started horking and wracking. The music was like a black-sun Nordic war.
I put out the cigarette in the mustard-coloured shag, which I realized was pockmarked with burns. I took Michael’s hand and he took mine. He put his head on my shoulder.
‘I’m staying here to be your nurse,’ I said.
‘I have one already. John’s a very good nurse.’
I started to cry again. A woman of faith. I wanted to tell Michael that I’d walked on the water.
Michael attempted to turn his head to look at me but he was stiff and white. I saw that some of his teeth had fallen out.
‘I think this whore-purifying fascist nonsense is the key to your fucked-up issues with men.’
I started to laugh. Michael turned the music off.
‘Don’t be a pussy, Rahab,’ he slurred.
I slapped his arm. Silence.
Michael had fallen asleep. I waited a few moments. I somehow manoeuvred to hold him, digging under his armpits. I dragged this horrible stick man down the hallway and into his bedroom. I hadn’t been in there before. Michael’s bedroom was pink, with these buffoonish kinds of curtains, I mean a Gone with the Wind kind of deal; the whole room was a little girl’s love of ribbons and bows. He had stuffed animals lined up all along the windowsill, these fluffy white dogs and rabbits and bears.
The clock shone green: 3:13.
I heaved Michael up onto his bed. I put him under the covers. I kissed his skull goodbye.
The second I lay down on the couch back in the living room I fell asleep.
When I woke up it was five in the morning. Heavy blood. I lit a fresh cigarette. I looked for the phone. I held it between my hands for a bit.
‘Ezrah?’
Silence.
‘It’s me, it’s Mira.’
I heard a gurgling.
‘Hey, Ezrah, come on. It’s early, I know … ’
‘What do you want?’ It sounded like Ezrah’s mouth was full. ‘Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?’
I took the phone away from my cheek. Dusk was coming in through the blinds.
‘Wait,’ Ezrah said, swallowing constantly. ‘Wait, it’s just late, all right?’
‘No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have called.’
‘Where are you?’
‘Not sure.’
‘What the fuck do you mean you’re not sure? No one’s heard from you in months. My mom said your mom hasn’t heard from you in months! They don’t even have a phone number for you, Mira. Your mom’s mad. At first she was worried, but now she’s just mad. I don’t even know if she’s going to talk to you when you call. You’re gonna call her, right? Do it now. You have to call her.’