Being married to Olivia Clarke has been the greatest adventure of my life and I thank every God there is that she deems me worthy of being her husband. I still remember the look on her face when I slid that ring on her finger. Like I was a prize she couldn’t believe she’d won. When in reality, I was the lucky one.
I move from my stomach to my side and pull her against me. “Were you watching me sleep?” I ask her and she nods her head guiltily before a grin breaks out across her face. Olivia’s smile is one of the great wonders of my world. She swears up and down that her in that deliciously sinful black dress she was wearing the night we met was what made me fall in love. But before I even got a look at the way that dress hugged her curves, I spotted a woman across the room with the most beautiful smile.
Genuinely breathtaking.
I didn’t even know she was friends with Wren’s newest girlfriend. All I knew was that I had to know her. I had to be in her presence, and just maybe, one of those smiles would be directed at me.
“I was waiting for you to wake up.” She sits up, leaning on her elbow and the sheet falls, revealing her warm brown skin, that is slightly kissed by the sun after this past weekend in the Hampton’s.
“And why is that?” My eyes devour her naked chest, wanting to pull one of her pretty nipples into my mouth.
“To fuck me.” She giggles and I thank God we are on the same page. Her giggle is like music to my dick that’s been awake long before I was. “I’m ovulating.” Her teeth find her bottom lip and the thought of impregnating the woman I’ve been borderline obsessed with the last seven years has me climbing on top of her. She laughs when I tuck my face into her neck inhaling her sweet and sexy scent.
“You want me to get you pregnant, Mrs. Clarke?”
“Please,” she whispers as my cock probes her folds that are already wet and ready for me.
“I want that too. Fuck I want that.” I press my lips to hers as I begin rocking in and out of her slowly.
I married Olivia when she was fresh out of college, and while I wanted to knock her up the second we said ‘I do,’ I knew she wanted time to explore her career and adulthood. So, we waited.
Until about two weeks ago, when Olivia came to me and told me she was ready to be a mother.
I’m going to be a dad.
To Olivia’s baby.
I can’t fucking wait.
My eyes fly open as the memory hits me so hard, I find myself struggling to breathe. I stare at the ceiling as the fan continues to propel above us as memories of the past six months come at me hard, fast and unrelenting.
“Livi, please don’t cry.” I hold her in arms, stroking her back as she sobs into my shirt, soaking the fabric. Her tears sear my skin, her pain eviscerating me with each choked out plea.
“Why…why can’t I get pregnant? It’s been months, Clarke.” She looks up at me, her big brown eyes full of questions that I don’t have the answers to. “What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing!” I tell her immediately. “You’re perfect, Olivia. These things take time.”
Her lip trembles as she climbs out of my lap and I try not to take it personally that she doesn’t want me to comfort her. I can feel her heart hardening in her chest, like it’s my own. She’s shutting down and shutting me out and I don’t know how to stop it.
I sit up, rubbing a hand over my mouth as everything comes back to me. I blink my eyes several times as if it would somehow change what happened between us.
“Olivia…talk to me.” She pulls her gaze away from the window. A gaze that used to be full of life and laughter and love, but is now lifeless and cold. I stroke her cheek slowly. “Baby, come on, let’s go out.”
“I’m tired,” she says before turning back to the window.
“I know, but it’ll make you feel better.”
“Will it?”
“I promise, yes. Or maybe I can call Alyssa and she can come over?”
She
shakes her head. “Can you just…let me be sad in peace please?”
“Olivia…”
“I get it, you want me to feel better. I do, Clarke. But I can’t feel better just because you want me to. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.” Her lip trembles. “I don’t want to feel like this, but…I don’t get a say either.”