Unconditional

In a good way or a bad way.

Am I ready for everything I’ve ever known the last ten years to go up in flames?

The front door slams open so hard I think the door has come off its hinges. I jump what feels like three feet when I hear footsteps moving up the stairs. What the hell? I wonder if he’s looking for me but doesn’t realize I’m lying on the couch, reading. “MADDIE!” The scream shakes me to my core, a scream so tortured that it speaks to the young girl that hid in a closet while her father murdered her mother. I’m off the couch in a second and flying up the stairs, only to see Cal sitting against the wall in front of my door. His elbows are resting on his knees and his head is in his hands.

“Cal…what…?” I start when his eyes dart up to meet mine. It all happens so fast, but within seconds, I’m up against the wall, his tall frame towering over my small one.

“Maddie…” He lets out a breath. “Fuck. You’re…here.”

“Of course, I’m here. I texted you when I got home from the store…”

“No, I mean…” He presses off the wall, grabbing his hair and turning his back to me. “DAMMIT!” he screams again.

“What’s wrong, what happened?”

“I would literally die if something happened to you.” He turns his head slightly so I can see his profile. “Do you get that?”

“Hey, I’m fine, okay? I’m here.” I wrap my arms around him and press my cheek into his back. His hands find my arms and begin to rub them gently.

“This girl was so young. Your age when we met.” My blood runs cold, thinking about what could have him reacting this way. No way. He always finds them in time. He’s a Superhero. “He got her too.” I feel myself being dragged to the ground and before I realize what’s happening, I’m in his lap. “I couldn’t save her, Mads.” His voice is broken and laced with anger, sadness, confusion. “Why…why couldn’t I get there?”

“It’s not your fault, Cal.” I press my hand to his cheek and stroke the spiky stubble. “You can’t save all of us.”

“What if I couldn’t get to you? What if…”

“You can’t think like that, Cal. You did get to me. You saved me…in so many ways. Who knows what would have happened to me if I went into the system? If I didn’t have someone looking out for me…” The tears spring to my eyes just as they always do when I think about what could have been.

“I can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if I was too late. If he got to you before he killed himself…”

“He didn’t.” I grab his hand and lace our fingers. “I’m here, see?” I’m acutely aware of the fact that

I’m straddling his lap and I think he’s starting to realize it as well because he shifts slightly and clears his throat.

“I got you,” he whispers and I nod in agreement.

You’ve always had me.

“Right. Well…” he starts as he tries to move me, but I stop him, pressing my hands to his shoulders to halt his movements.

“Cal,” I whisper. My lips are so close to his, I can taste the coffee and the mint from the spearmint gum he always chews. I’m staring at his lips, wanting a taste so badly that I bite my lip to stop from acting on the primal urge. “I got you too.”

“Maddie…” His heart pounds underneath my hand and when he tries to move, I hold my ground and push him so that he’s lying flat on his back, with me hovering over him. “Madeline,” he croaks. His voice is hoarse and I wonder if it’s because he’s literally straining to keep his dick from rising underneath me. I’m not sure how I ended up in this position, me straddling the man that had raised me since I was seven years old, but I knew I had no intentions of getting up until I rubbed against him just once.

This had been my fantasy for the past three years and I was too overcome with lust to care that doing this would change everything with one gentle brush over his hardness between us. I wonder if he could feel the heat radiating from between my legs. I knew my panties were soaked and I was sure that the tiny shorts I was wearing over it weren’t doing much to control the deluge.

He coughs, but I’ve watched enough porn to know that he’s trying to stifle a groan. I’m not sure what’s going on in his mind, but I’m fairly certain by the glint in his eye it is as depraved as what I’m thinking. He’s not your father, Madeline.

He’s been more of a father to you than your actual one.

I swallow as the words wash over me and spread like wildfire throughout my whole body and congregate between my legs. I bite down on my lower lip, making an effort not to move a muscle. “Yes, Cal?” My eyes bore into his as he lies on his back underneath me.

“You should get up,” he tells me, and despite the foot and a half and eighty pounds of muscle he has on me, he doesn’t move me from his lap.

Push him, Maddie.

I press my hands to his chest gently and shake my head back and forth. “But…that’s not what you want.”

“Madeline, up,” he growls and I curl my fingers into his shirt and dig into his chest as I move back slightly so that my sex is right against his dick.