He shuts his eyes, but I notice him wince. “I’m never letting you out of my sight, I swear to God.”
“Does that mean you’ll be coming with me to college?”
His eyes fly open and he rubs his jaw. “If you want me to.”
“I want to be wherever you are,” I tell him. “This…was scary.” I let out a breath. “But it doesn’t change my feelings for you. If anything, it just makes them stronger. You really are my superhero.”
“I’ll always protect you, Maddie. Don’t feel like you have to be with me for me to keep you safe.”
“What!” I screech and my throat screams in response. Fuck, that hurt. “No. Cal, I want to be with you because I don’t want a day to go by without waking up in your arms. Because I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. Because I’m so in love with you. The fact that you keep saving my life…” I give him a small smile. “That’s just a bonus.”
Margie enters the room just as I’m getting reacquainted with Cal’s mouth and she clears her throat. I peek my head around him and smile at Cal’s mother. My future mother in law, I predict.
“Oh, my sweet Maddie.” She rushes to my other side and is wary to sit on the bed with me, but I make space for her. “I am so sorry for…everything.”
“Margie, it’s not your fault.”
“It is my fault…the sins of my past.” She lets her head fall. “I’ve let you both down.”
“People make mistakes…it doesn’t justify Henry’s behavior,” Cal starts.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” I whisper. “Cal wouldn’t be here otherwise. I don’t see how anyone could see that as a mistake.” I look at him and his ears turn slightly pink and I smile at the ability to embarrass him, but my heart hurts that he thinks of himself as a mistake in light of recent information.
“I thought it was best to keep it from you and I shouldn’t have.”
“I definitely have…questions,” Cal starts. “Mainly…do you, I mean, who is my father?”
“Oh my God, is it Grant?” I blurt out and I mentally slap my head as Cal’s eyes dart to me and then to his mother, his eyes wide and unblinking. “Sorry, I’ve been watching too many soap operas.”
She shakes he
r head. “No, not Grant. He didn’t even know that I’ve had an affair. He was under the impression that Patrick Grayson was your father as well.” She clears her throat and the tears well in her eyes. “Cal, I… that might be a story for another time, okay?”
“Is he…alive?”
“No.”
My eyes dart from Cal to his mother and I wonder if this is a conversation I’m old enough to hear. But then I remember my place is much different in their lives, and Cal would confide in me anyway.
“I want to know,” Cal says. “Please.”
She lets out a breath and blinks away the tears before turning towards the window. “Your father was…the love of my life.” She clears her throat. “He was my high school sweetheart.”
Both Cal and my eyes widen and I reach for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze alerting him that I’m here. “I loved him so much.”
“What…what happened?”
“I was so wild about Nathan Solomon. I wanted to get married as soon as we graduated. But he wanted to enlist, and my parents wanted me to go to college. Hell, I wanted to go to college. I got into Sarah Lawrence in New York. We both had things we wanted to accomplish before we settled down. He was only supposed to be gone for a year,” she whispers, and the tears flow down her cheeks. “A year turned to two and then to four and then to six and I just didn’t want to wait any longer.” She bites her bottom lip, and I watch the regret wash over her face.
If I went to school, and he didn’t come with me…would we find our way back to each other? Or would it be too late? I feel a sickening feeling sinking to the pit of my stomach at the thought.
I can’t let that happen.
Margie takes a deep breath and continues. “When he finally returned home, almost a decade later, I’d met Patrick…and I was pregnant with Henry.” She shakes her head. “I did love him, don’t mistake what I’m saying. I loved Patrick and it destroyed me when he left. But you just never forget your first love. Your first love takes power over you that never relinquishes. It takes hold of your soul and never lets go. Some people learn to ignore it, or the power lessens slightly, but it’s never completely gone. Especially when things are left so open.”
My mind reels thinking about what would happen if Cal and I ever separated. I would never forget him, and at this point, I was completely convinced I would never love another as completely and selflessly and irrevocably as I love Cal Michael Grayson. If she loved Nathan even a fraction as much as I love Cal, then I don’t know how she’s even managed to go on—twice.
“Where…where do I fit into that picture?” Cal asks.