Unconditional

“We stayed friends.” She tells us. “It was a dangerous game. I spent time with him, more than what was appropriate.” She blinks a few times, allowing us to fill in the blanks. “I was falling in love with him all over again. So, I had a plan to leave Patrick. I wasn’t being fair to him or myself or Nathan.” She clears her throat. “And then I fell pregnant and I knew it was time to come clean about everything.” She sighs. “But…” she trails off. “I’ll never forget the call I got in the middle of the night.” I feel like I’m frozen as I prepare to hear her words. I hold my breath waiting for the bomb.

“There’d been an accident.” She sniffles. “He was killed instantly.”

“Mom…” Cal chokes out.

She brushes the tears from her cheeks. “He was so excited about you.”

“He…he knew about me?”

“Yes.” She nods. I feel like she might expand, but she doesn’t and I wonder if years later it’s still painful to talk about. “I know I kept things from you and…” she pauses before she chokes out his name, “Henry, but I told Patrick early on. The guilt was eating me alive and I didn’t want him to think I was trapping him if and when the truth came to light. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Henry doesn’t exactly remember this because he was only about four, but Patrick moved out for a while. But he was there when I gave birth to you and I think he fell in love with being a dad again. He was a good dad, Cal. His issues were with me, not with either of you. He loved you both so much.”

“Until he didn’t,” Cal grits out. “He left us too, Mom.”

“Honey…you have to let that anger go.”

“I know.” He grunts and looks at me.

Margie turns to me. “I had no idea Henry or Cal would ever learn the truth. Cal’s father wasn’t alive, so I didn’t think it was necessary to tell them, especially after Patrick left. I made a mistake in judgment. Then you get older and you learn from your mistakes, and then it feels too late to tell the truth. I didn’t even tell Grant.” She lowers her head. “Of course, he knows now. I hope neither of you hate me, and Cal, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“Margie, I don’t think any less of you.” I put my hand on hers and squeeze. “I still love you so much and I don’t blame you at all. You did what you had to do for your family. You did what you felt was best at the time.”

Her eyes float to her son, whose eyes are fixed on the ground. “I don’t hate you, Mom. Never think that. I’m just caught off guard, of course.” I can see the confusion in his eyes. He’s not sure what to feel or what he’s allowed to feel. “It’s been a long fucking day.”

“I know. I can’t imagine what you both have been through.” She squeezes my hand. “My sweet babies. I love you both so much.”

“We love you too.” I look at her.

She nods and stands up, staring at us both. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

I wake up a few hours later to arms wrapped around me and a hand stroking my shoulder. My head is resting on Cal’s chest after I basically begged him to climb into my hospital bed with me. I would be released in the morning, and as the sun peeks up over the day, I wonder how long I’ve been asleep.

“I think a fresh start would do us both some good.” Cal speaks and I sweep my hand over his torso and raise my head slowly to look up at him.

“A fresh start, together?”

He rests his hand on the back of my head and kisses my forehead, keeping me close to his chest. “Yes, you and me.”

“Where are we going?”

“Wherever you want.”

“I can pick?” I look up at him.

“Well, you’ll be enrolled in college young lady, so make sure you like one of the schools in the state.” He smiles.

“You’re coming with!” I squeal, and it’s like the thought has my weary, aching body feeling brand new, as if I’m floating.

“I’d follow you anywhere.”

Four Years Later

“BUT CAL…” I WHINE INTO the phone, the effects of the multiple shots I took on the last day of the semester catching up with me. “I have plans that include my mouth…on your dick.” I giggle, even though I’m slightly irritated that my man won’t be home when I get home from the bar.

The transfer to the Boston Police Department was much easier than we thought it would be. Not that I was too shocked. Cal was a well-decorated officer and his reputation preceded him. Despite the fact that the majority of the force in Oregon knew that our relationship had changed, they didn’t seem to paint him in a negative light. They believed he loved me as much as I loved him and that our bond had been unbreakable from the moment we met. He wasn’t the Chief of Police yet, but I was certain it was coming in the next few years.

I had just taken my final exam of my senior year at Harvard and I was due to graduate college this weekend. Cal and I wasted no time getting acclimated into our new life in Boston leaving behind the scars and the skeletons of our past back west. Margie and Grant had gotten married and were still living in Oregon, though I had a strong inkling that they would be looking at a permanent residence in Massachusetts, the second a certain ring found its way onto my finger.

Aria, who I talk to every day, is somewhere in the middle. She moved to Michigan to join their police force, after needing a change of scenery and wanting to be closer to her family. She comes to visit al