“I did.”
“Then why is it pissing you off?” Masters ask.
“Because she’s so fucking perfect I can’t even deal with it. I’ve jerked off so many times that my dick is chaffed, and I can’t get any satisfaction from that. I didn’t go out all weekend because I didn’t want to sleep with anybody else.”
Masters shakes his head. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Hate to tell you, but you’re pretty much fucked already, man.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sheridan is in town this week. She’ll snap me out of it.”
“God, you’ve been on and off with her for a long time.”
“About ten years, I think.”
“Why don’t you just make a go of it
with her?” Masters frowns.
I screw up my face in disgust. “It’s not like that between us.”
“So, let me get this straight: you’ve been fucking this chick from New York for ten years and you don’t even think about her once when you’re not with her?”
“God, no, never,” I answer with certainty. “I’m not being a stepfather to her three bratty kids, and I definitely don’t want to move to the states. Nor do I want her moving here. We just have fun.” I scowl and look up at the ceiling. “I think she’s even got a boyfriend now.”
“But she’ll call you the minute she gets into town and you’ll go to her hotel.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ll fuck her ‘til she can’t walk.” I bite the food from my fork. “When she’s in London, she’s mine.”
“How often does she come here?”
“Four times a year.”
“How long does she stay each visit?”
I shrug. “Ten days or so.”
“Like I said,“ Seb mutters. “Why doesn’t this fucking shit ever happen to me?”
We continue to eat our breakfast, and the boys talk and chatter cheerfully, but my mind is in Nottingham… with Charlotte.
I hate that she thinks that this is about her. This isn’t about her, it’s about me and what I can’t be.
If I go there, eventually I’ll fuck it up. I know I will, and I can’t stand the thought of that.
It’s best to just leave it as it stands. I can’t see her again.
I exhale heavily at the depressing thought, and I stare out of the window, feeling like shit.
“Fuck’s sake, snap out of it.” Masters groans.
“Whatever.” I sigh, tucking into my breakfast again.
It’s going to be a long day.
Charlotte
Lara falls into the seat opposite me. “Good Lord, I need a strong drink. Can you buy it by the bottle here?” She sighs.
I smile and sip my wine. “What happened?”