“Because he doesn’t even want to come at all. My uncle does business with him, and I’ve had a crush on this guy for years.” She puts her hands on her hips in dismay. “My plan was to look gorgeous so that he can’t help falling at my feet.”
I smile. “Well, that’s an excellent plan. Of course he will fall at your feet. Look at you.”
“I know, right?” She smirks and gives a wiggle of her arse.
“Just get someone else to go with you,” Paul suggests.
“I don’t have anyone.” She sighs. “This whole day is a fucking disaster.” She kicks the photocopier in disgust.
“Take Lottie.”
Sarah’s eyes flicker to me. “Would you come?”
My face falls. “Oh.” I shake my head. “I don’t… I don’t know the guy.”
“I don’t, either. It’ll a blind date for both of us.”
I stare at her in horror.
“Please.” She bounces on the spot and grabs my arm. “I really like this guy, and I can’t go without someone else with me.”
“You said you didn’t know him!”
“I don’t, but I really like the look of him.”
I roll my eyes.
“Honestly I’ve had the hots for this guy forever. Oh, please, Lottie. Please will you come?”
I stare at her. I mean, I could go, I have nothing else on… but a blind date? I really don’t think that’s such a good idea.
“What the hell?” Veronicas cries out.
Our eyes widen, and we spin to see Veronica assessing the room from the doorway. Her hands are on her hips and her face is furious.
“This damn machine is on acid!” Sarah cries. “We had to shut the power off and everything.” She throws her hands up in defeat. “We couldn’t stop it.”
Veronica looks at the papers all over the floor. She breathes deeply and closes her eyes. “I’m going to count to ten, and then I’m going to turn and walk out of here before I fire you all.” She inhales in a dramatic fashion. “Clean this mess up, and get those booklets finished before I lose my living shit.”
We all drop to the floor and begin scrambling to pick up the papers. Veronica storms to the elevator and disappears, the doors closing behind her.
“Fuck off, you old mole,” Sarah cries as she flips the bird to the closed elevator doors. “I hope the Grim Reaper comes around and fucks you up the ass with a baseball bat.”
“Why can’t you just say that to her face, Sarah?” Paul mutters, disgusted. “Then she wouldn’t give us this shit.” He throws a pile of papers into the bin. “And by the way, the Grim Reaper is too good for her. He has standards, you know?”
The situation overwhelms me, and I sit back on my knees, laughing. Loud, belly- cramping giggles take over, and I can’t stop.
Sarah kicks the photocopier again, and then Pauls begins to laugh, too, until eventually Sarah joins in and the three of us are lying on the floor in uncontrollable fits of giggles.
“This job sucks hairy fucking balls, man,” Sarah shouts up to the ceiling.
“Right?” Paul agrees.
I continue to laugh. If only they knew…
I think this is the best job in the world.
* * *