Do you want to lose her, you fucking idiot?
I sit on the edge of the bed and put my head into my hands.
Shit, that was close.
I sit back to rearrange my cock in my pants. It’s painful and restricted.
I need to come or I’m going to… Hell, I can’t even think what I’m going to do.
I get a vision of Eliza beneath me, naked, and my entire body tingles.
Fuck.
I unzip my pants with urgency, and I take my cock into my hand. I get a vision of Eliza on her knees in front of me and I begin to pull myself.
Fuck, yeah.
Take it all… take it fucking all.
The grip on my cock is nearly painful. I need it harder, I need her tighter.
I close my eyes and tip my head back. My bicep begins to cramp from the vice-like grip I have on myself.
The shower turns off.
No.
I need it.
I zip my pants up. The bathroom door opens, and I brush past her before she has time to notice the tent in my trousers.
God damn it, woman… I want to fuck your mouth.
I lock the door, turn the water on, and tear my clothes off, desperate for Eliza.
Desperate to ejaculate.
I soap up my hand, get under the water, and I begin to really fuck myself. I need this. I need it hard.
I want it to hurt.
My legs go weak from underneath me, and I put my hand up on the tiles to hold myself steady. I close my eyes and taste Eliza’s skin in my mouth. I can almost feel her breath on my chest, and I come hard. My head tips back and I give a low, guttural moan. My heart is racing, gasping for air, and my body shudders as it comes down from the high. I keep stroking to completely empty my body.
Thinking of her when I come is an out of this world experience. I can’t imagine what the real thing would feel like. Maybe I wouldn’t even survive it.
I stand under the shower, the water running down over my face, and the more I come down from the high, the more guilt fills me.
Eliza trusts me, and I’m jerking off over her like she’s a piece of meat in a porno.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I stand under the water for a long time and slowly wash my hair. I’m dreading facing her.
Eventually, when I can’t put it off any longer, I turn off the shower and dry myself. Normally, I would walk out there in a towel and dress in front of her but I can’t now. It feels weird.
Every boundary between us has changed, and I have no sphere or reference as to what’s right and wrong anymore.
What just happened was wrong… but fuck, it felt so right.