Why didn’t that bother me at the time that he said it? Thinking back, it should have. It was so off. Am I really so blinded by Nathan’s sunshine that I just swoon on his every word, regardless of the content?
I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. He never really broke ties with Robert. I know they speak regularly, and when Robert comes t
o town, they always catch up.
Do they still sleep together?
I think about his tattoo and the three swallows. He said they were of him and me, and the life he left behind. It’s weird. Why would he get a swallow for the life he left behind if it wasn’t symbolic? I think on it as I go over every possible explanation.
Is the third bird Robert? Is that who Nathan left behind?
Zavier said that Nathan told him he never got over his first love.
Hell...
I close my eyes because, now that I think about it, Nathan really might still love him.
And regardless of the uterus issues, and Stephanie, or the possibility that Nathan may be yearning for a man one day in the future. The worst problem of all would be him still loving Robert. That is a hill too steep to climb. We can’t get over that, no matter how hard we try.
Fuck, this is a mess. How do I find myself so deeply in love with a man who has so many unanswered questions hanging over his head? Actually, that’s unfair. Nathan doesn’t have any unanswered questions hanging over him.
They are all mine.
“You okay?” Henry asks softly. “You’re very quiet?”
“Yeah.” I smile over at him, grateful for his simplistic, sweet personality. “Just tired.”
He puts his back against the seat. “Me, too.”
Nathan
I pace back and forth. It’s been the longest week of my life. I can’t tolerate being without Eliza. Having to give her distance this week has nearly killed me.
I glance up at the arrivals screen as it flashes:
Landed.
She’s here.
I wait and wait, and I wait until, finally, I see Henry walking out with Eliza behind him. She looks up and sees me. She gives me a soft smile, and my heart swells.
Fuck. I love this woman.
I want to run to her and take her in my arms… but I won’t. I’ll stand here and act cool, as if my entire world hasn’t nearly ended this week without her.
Henry waves and nods, and I wave back, embarrassed by my behaviour before they left.
Eliza comes over to me, and I take her in my arms and kiss her softly. “Here she is.”
“Hi.” She smiles as she runs her fingers through my stubble.
“Feels like a long time since I’ve seen you,” I murmur as I hold her tight.
“I’m home now, baby.” She smiles and kisses me. “Come on.” She takes my hand in hers. “Let’s go home.”
We walk to the car hand in hand, and she chats away, telling me about her week. I watch her in a detached daze.
How have I come to depend on her so much? I can’t even sleep without her in bed with me. I’ve tossed and turned every night, watching the clock until the sun came up.