Our Way

Robertoutgoing

Dadincoming

Officeincoming

Robertoutgoing

“What?” I sit up, and, suddenly interested in the call history. I look at the times and dates of when he spoke to Robert. I scroll down and go back over a long period of time.

Sometimes Robert calls him, other times Nathan calls Robert.

They speak nearly every day, I look through the call times. Sometimes for five minutes, sometimes up to nearly an hour.

On the second day that I was away, they spoke four times. What the fuck?

I hear the shower turn off. I turn the phone off and put it on the side table, and I pretend to be asleep.

Nathan comes out and gets his clothes out of the walk-in closet. He takes them out into the living room to dress to be less noisy.

I stare at the ceiling. Wow.

There are so many things that are fucked up about this relationship, I don’t even know where to start. I have every right to feel insecure. This isn’t in my fucking head.

Anger begins to bubble deep in my stomach. So, he can get crazy jealous whenever he wants, but it’s okay for him to speak to his ex every day? They’re friends, I remind myself.

Ugh…whatever. I don’t want him to know I snooped in his phone so I can’t even say anything.

I get up and shower as I mouth angry, fighting words to the shampoo bottles.

I can’t say them to him, so I’ll let them have it.

Don’t be the insecure girlfriend.

That isn’t who I am, and I’m not lowering myself. When the time is right, I’ll address the Robert issue. Until then, I’ll carry on as if normal.

Calm, calm. Keep fucking calm.

After many deep breathes and a huge pep talk to myself, I get out of the shower and dress for work. I put on a fitted black dress and high-heeled pumps with sheer stockings. I make an extra effort and put my long dark hair into a high ponytail. I apply a full face of makeup to make myself feel confident.

I look at my lipstick selections all lined up in my makeup drawer.

Red. It’s a red lipstick day. I put it on as if it’s war paint and I’m preparing to battle. Don’t mess with me today, anyone, or you will go down, and it will fucking hurt.

I walk out into the kitchen to find Nathan dressed in a dark charcoal suit. He has a light blue shirt on and a navy tie. His hair is longer on top with that just-fucked messy perfection. He looks fucking edible. Ugh, it’s so annoying.

“Morning.” I fake a smile as I kiss his cheek.

His eyes drop down to my toes and then back up to my face. His eyebrow rises as if angered. “Red lipstick for work?”

“Yeah,” I reply casually as I pour myself a coffee from the coffee machine. “Why haven’t you left yet?”

“I wanted to talk to you. I’ll drive you to work.”

I turn toward him with my coffee in my hand. “What about?”

“Last night.’”

My eyes hold his. “What about it?”