Our Way

This is a welfare check to see if my girlfriend is feeling any more stable this afternoon.

xoxoxo

I smirk. Asshole. I have calmed down considerably, but whatever. I reply:

Dear Dr. Mercer,

Your girlfriend is still feeling unhinged.

It is best to avoid her for your own health and safety.

xoxoxox

I smirk as I wait for his reply.

Miss Bennet,

Does she need me to come over and fuck the crazy out of her?

I’m happy to put her health and safety above mine.

xoxoxo

I smile. Don’t be cute, asshole.

I reply:

Dear Dr. Mercer,

Undoubtedly. However, it will have to wait until this evening.

Miss Bennet will get fired for having sexual relations at work.

xoxox

I tap my pen as I wait for his reply. I look around guiltily.

Miss Bennet,

Is that supposed to be a deterrent?

It’s an incentive to fuck you twice on the reception desk.

xoxoxo

I giggle. How can he calm me down with a few flirty emails? Oh well, I’m sick to death of fighting. All relationships have their problems, I guess. I just have to work out the best way to navigate through ours. I reply:

Dear Dr. Mercer.

I shall take you up on your offer.

I am going out to dinner with my friends tonight.

You can pick me up afterwards, if you wish, for my therapy session.

xoxoxox

I hit send and smile as I wait.